Dear Tech Support

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by RCSignals, Sep 16, 2004.

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  1. Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!


    A TroubledUser (SEE REPLY BELOW)



    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem about which men are complaining.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
    Warnings-Alimony/Child-Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation.

    I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

    Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstance, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,

    Tech Support
  2. Nice post.
  3. Amazed that it took so long for someone to think up that one!

    Very good.
  4. Ficking glad I am still on Girlfriend 6.0 :wink:
  5. I think the MRS Palmer&5.0 Daughters is a better version. Especially the Right handed version
  6. HUSBAND 1.0 Upgrade
    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had previously operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as Grandstand 5.0 and Match Of The Day 3.0.

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

    Signed: Desperate Wife (keep reading)

    ************ REPLY *************

    Dear Desperate Wife,

    Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

    Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files.

    DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

    Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Keep-a-nice-body 10.1.

  7. Im on girlfriend 8.0, but thinking about the new download and upgrade of Wife 1.0 :?:

    Have ordered the perivial, Child 1.0 which is apparently good for two years but then you must upload the add on, child 2.0. But until then Ill just upgrade child 1.0 with milk 0.2 and Breast 2.0. Child 1.0 wont be here until next march something to do with cacheable download . I guess my modem needs upgradeing to increase the download speed.