Dear santa.....

#1
Since there is only 10 weeks until christmas I've decided now is the time to start considering what to get who. As I was innocently looking through various sex sites for ideas :lol: I came across this I felt it was my duty to share it with you. Just think one for the other half when you're away and one for you when you're homesick!!! Genius!!! Naturally I've bought a few kits to..err...test as I couldn't live with the guilt of recommending something that didn't work....

http://www.cloneyourbone.com/
 
#2
Can I not just have George Clooney and Brad Pitt? Sean Bean, the bloke from "That Thing You Do" that plays the drums, and of course, Johnny Knoxville. They would be all the sex toys I would need.

Oh, and a clawhammer.
 
#3
You may be onto something there.... celebrity sex shop!

Your favourite celebs bits made to life size.... oooh I can see the possibilities already.....
 
#4
No - I want the real thing.

Did I miss Richard Gere off?

And Gunny......
 
#5
I'd like a fanny magnet, a Fisher-Price knocking shop and a gusset please Santa.
 
#6
Bravo_Bravo said:
I'd like a fanny magnet, a Fisher-Price knocking shop and a gusset please Santa.
No probs, do you want a pushbike too?
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#7
Bravo_Bravo said:
I'd like a fanny magnet, a Fisher-Price knocking shop and a gusset please Santa.
Bravo_Bravo, your wish has been granted.

The Match Your SnatchTM kit comes with everything you need to capture every detail of your one-of-a-kind kitty in wax. An optional magnet will let you create the most interesting note-holder that has ever graced your refrigerator.
 
#8
Dale the snail said:
No - I want the real thing.

Did I miss Richard Gere off?

And Gunny......
But can the real thing come in a variety of colours and be made into a soap???

Just think you could tell all your mates "Had a shower last night with these 2 c@*ks called Johnny and Richard - was the best scrub down I've ever had"

You couldn't get that with the real thing - mix and matching
 
#9
its october...................


can we leave christmas to somewhere in errrrr december please??


c**ksucking m*therf**kers





edited to point out i was just in the swearfilter thread :oops:
 
#10
It's 10 wks away not 10 months!! Nothing wrong with being organised especially when the gifts are soooo much fun....
 
#11
tigerbaby said:
It's 10 wks away not 10 months!! Nothing wrong with being organised especially when the gifts are soooo much fun....
I totally agree.... (but i wont go into the planin and prep sh*t)

btw does bein a woman have anything to do with it you think>>>???
 
#12
I would like to say nooooo but deep down I know the truth....

however I'm in denial!! noooooooooo nothing to do with being a woman at all!! Tiz as much for a man's pleasure as a woman's and let's face it if you told your other half you were starting your christmas shopping early and the presents were for you both to enjoy he's hardly gonna turn around and say "nah I'd rather wait til christmas thanx".
 
#13
Ladies, ladies, ladies.

Surely the fact that at least 50% of the time you end up with a box of milk tray and a bunch of flowers from a garage forecourt (with the price tag still attached) should have led you to the conclusion that, unless we have fcuked up on a galactic scale, we put the bare minimum of planning and preparation into the holiday period. Any good ideas we might have for our better halves immediately get held in reserve for Valentine's Day since we have long since learned that to fcuk up on THAT day will result in another six months locked in the bathroom with a grot mag as our only sexual outlet.

Come to think of it, unless you're a single bloke, Valentine's Day sucks donkey balls even more than a day over-eating and monging in front of the idiot box watching Only Fools and Horses, Indiana Jones repeats and Auntie Betty.
 
#14
crabtastic said:
Any good ideas we might have for our better halves immediately get held in reserve for Valentine's Day since we have long since learned that to fcuk up on THAT day will result in another six months locked in the bathroom with a grot mag as our only sexual outlet.
I feel your frustration here... didn't like her prezzie last time eh?? never mind.... since you're starting to wander from the topic might I be the one to bring it full circle back to the beginning - my suggestion for your next present is....

www.cloneyourbone.com/

I'm sure after receiving such a thoughtful gift she'll be on her back in no time, and if not who cares you'll have a clone of her imortant parts anyway!!! :lol:
 
#16
Well Santa, I want my stockings filled with lots of goodies this year please! I promise to sit on your knee and whisper in your ear ......... but weally weally weally would like something really speshul this year!!!!!!!!!!! Could you just fit Brad Pitt in your sleigh and pop him down my chimney!
 
#17
Fair enough, but when was the last time you saw one pick up the cheque at dinner? I always thought of presents like this as a subtle way of telling her to go and fcuk herself. :wink:

God, I hate trying to pick out presents for birds that aren't a) my mum, or b) my sister. It's even worse when you haven't been together that long (and I'm gravitating back towards Valentine's Day in my thinking here) because a) you don't know them that well and b) there is always the question of too little vs too much. With some lasses (and bear in mind, for the past 4 years, for me they've they've been Spams- and crazy Californian spams at that), it can be like Goldilocks and the 3 Bears- but with credit cards. Too little and you're an uncaring, ungrateful b@stard, too much and you're an overcommitted stalker. I should make it a matter of policy not to become attached between 01 October and 15 February.

On the other hand ladies, are there any failsafe gifts out there that WON'T smack of being emergency purchases?
 
#18
Dear Santa,

I would like the troops home from Afghanistan, Iraq and other hot spots round the globe please. I would like those hot spots to stop being in need of our presence to function properly so that the citizens can lead their lives in relative peace please. I would like Bush, Bliar and Lickarse and all the other barstewards like them to be exiled to somewhere else - like the asteroid belt - please.

Thank you.

mk


p.s. Can you also help crabtastic please. He seems incapable of buying a gift certificate to a beauty salon/day spa on his own :wink:
 
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