Dear Santa,

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by The_Snail, Dec 10, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. May I please have a water cannon (for students) a mink from Rome and something that will stop me sneezing.
  2. The mink will stop you sneezing (and breathing, too) unless you muzzle the little fecker, rip your face off as soon as look at you, those things.
    Oh, and the students can get their own water cannon; don't see why you need to give them one?

    Ta, Santa.
  3. Dear Santa,

    As walting seems to be such a big thing this year can you walt me so that I can claim to have never been in the military but am an accountant named David who collects stamps and match programs for Cefn Druids FC? Oh and can you also walt me so I also have a plain drab girlfriend called Penny who works as a teaching assistant for special needs children?

    Cheers Albertous, sorry David (us walts have to live the part you know)
  4. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Book Reviewer Kit Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Dear Santa,

    Yes! You fecking are dear! I have still to see you put your own hand in your pocket to help out :(
  5. Dear Santa,

    Please can we have peace for all men.

    So as Rudolph leads Donner, Blitzen, Prancer, Dancer etc through the night skies will you please drop some intant sunshine on Iran, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Moscow, Venezuela and Burnley.

  6. You forgot Liverpool.

  7. How about a hatton round to the face?
  8. Now that made oi larf
  9. Dear Santa

    Can I have a new bike and lots of sweeties and a new government that has at least some idea about running a country?
  10. What?; a fat Mancunian boxer ??

  11. Dear santa

    pleez can I have an aircraft carrier and some whizzy aircraft to put on it. I promise I've been good.

    Kindest Regards
    General Sir David Richards KCB CBE DSO ADC Gen
  12. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Dear Santa,

    I'd like to go to a student riot wearing steelies with boudicca spikes, a hard hat and dusters while carrying a flail chain in one hand and a nailed bat in the other, and also a badge that says 'security'.

  13. Dear Santa, please give me the strength to shag every lbfm in Asia.
  14. Dear Jim, er Santa, please could you fix it for me not to loose my job in the defence review and to work less hours & for more pay.
    if not could i then have a new computer, faster internet access & a subscription to a couple of MILF porn sites.

    Kind regards etc