Dear Lord Freud When should I sign off and sign on again from Bounce Banan's tenants

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BounceBanana, Nov 23, 2012.

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  1. Deer Lord Fraud

    Can you let me know when you are rolling out your new benfits skeme for new claims so I knows when to sign off and sign backs on as a new claim.

    I dont wanna wait to be mygrated as a existing claim as I wanna gets me hands on Bounce Banana's rent money as soons as I can. Whens I nick the rent every month under your new genrous skeme I will be able to afford a better seven seater car.

    I served me country. Two weeks before the Scots Guards kicked me out of their basic training. I int worked since then. think I got PTSD. That was when I 18. Now I 40 and never worked.

    Thanks again for yer genrous charity skeme for benfits

    Best wishes
  2. Ah Brasso....

    glug, glug, glug....burp!
    • Like Like x 3
  3. Shouldn't this be in the NAAFI/Arsehole?
  4. Pah! Posh buggers. If 87 octane was good enough for Richard Pryor, it's good enough for me.
  5. An ice cold Drain-O and Orange-Glo cocktail is my domestic poison of choice, but remember to decorate the glass rim first by dipping it, moistened, into Warfarin granules.
  6. Nectar of the gods that stuff!
  7. I have the feeling the OP has a house that's been requisitioned by some form of government so an unemployed/can't-be-arsed-working person can have some 'social mobility'. I suspect OP's tenant has taken the wedge paid to him to pay the OP rent has been spent on tabs, booze and a new car leaving the OP out of pocket and said government found lacking in give-a-fuck.

    OP, sell the house or don't rent it to the fucking government! Can you terminate the rental agreement and evict the cunts?
  8. Creosote has never been the same since COSHH came along, life is so unfair...
  9. My Father's Batman used to drink Brasso - didn't do him much good. He used to slowly pour a bottle of the stuff through a loaf of NAAFI bread and catch the slightly clearer stuff that trickled out at the bottom and that became his tipple of choice. He also did a line in something made with boot polish and something else made with typewriter ink - this was all back in the early '70s before the pay rise. Dear old Gunner P! He'd be in his 80s now if he were still alive, which with all the best will in the world, I very much doubt he is. I got told off once for calling him Dennis; to an 11 year old he was fascinating and was a useful source of fags as he laboured in his 'office' in our cellar.
  10. Fucking hell, you make me look sensible.

    *I'm a civvy now, so fuck off*
  11. It killed him but he had a lovely finish. ;-)
    • Like Like x 1
  12. sirbhp

    sirbhp LE Book Reviewer

    how does one drink Brasso? do you filter it first , mix it with screech or what ....