Dear Antie ARRSE

#1
While I have been laid up in bed with the flu for the past week or so,I have been watching 'Sex & The City' triple bill on TV &,seeing it's not on now till next Tuesday,I felt a bit,well,dispondant.
I've also decided to repaint the bedroom in a pastel shade & get some matching drapes.
Thing is Antie,I'm getting worried I might be turning gay or worse!
Should I be worried or is this normal?
Yours,
Confused of Dee.
 
#2
I've noticed other changes in you, Spike. 8O

You've lost your "oxygen thief" tag (or was it self-inflicted, for a giggle???) :D

You've lost that devine pussycat avatar. :(

All the best for 2009.
bovvy x
 
#4
Dear Confused of Dee.
There is an imminent danger of gayness while dying from flu, however a cure is at hand.
Simply tear out the home furnishings pages of the Grattan catalogue that your browsing through and use said pages to blow hooter on.
Then turn to the ladies lingerie section and thrap yourself silly over the '18 hour control girdle' section.
Hope this helps. :)
 
#6
Check your annual footwear budget.

If it has expanded from "New pair of trainers because the feckin dog shagged the last ones', to 'Imelda Marcos aint got nothing on me', you've obviously succumbed to the Sex in the City virulence.

If you're not gay, you're at least now gagging for horse faced, self-involved whiney women... which is just as bad.
 
#8
You are not gay unless you like football.If you do like football,then I'm affraid you are a right hermer.
Hope that's cleared things up for you.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#9
Ignore the rough boys. There is nothing wrong in taking an interest in home decoration, sensitive and emotional television programmes or soft furnishings. It's just getting in touch with your own feminine side, and that can be a great advantage when being in contact with ladies.
After all, if you were on operations, you would be wearing makeup, decorating your clothing with fashionable accesories and no doubt improving your living accomodation with some tasteful bits and pieces.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#11
vvaannmmaann said:
What's this,OFH playing for the home team?

Women rather like a man with a soft and tender side. So I'm told, wouldn't know personally, naturally.
 
#12
Watch it for much longer and you'll become more and more like Richard Simmons
 
#14
vvaannmmaann said:
What's this,OFH playing for the home team?
Nah, I reckon he's trying it on with bovvy(1)...

Slimy old git he is.

(1) Or anything at all with a pulse, come to that.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#15
vvaannmmaann said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
vvaannmmaann said:
What's this,OFH playing for the home team?

Women rather like a man with a soft and tender side. So I'm told, wouldn't know personally, naturally.
Yeah right.
Methinks you protest too much!
When one is as old and ugly as me, one takes whatever one can get!
 
#16
old_fat_and_hairy said:
vvaannmmaann said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
vvaannmmaann said:
What's this,OFH playing for the home team?

Women rather like a man with a soft and tender side. So I'm told, wouldn't know personally, naturally.
Yeah right.
Methinks you protest too much!
When one is as old and ugly as me, one takes whatever one can get!
By force usually.....
 
#17
theoriginalphantom said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
vvaannmmaann said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
vvaannmmaann said:
What's this,OFH playing for the home team?

Women rather like a man with a soft and tender side. So I'm told, wouldn't know personally, naturally.
Yeah right.
Methinks you protest too much!
When one is as old and ugly as me, one takes whatever one can get!
By force usually.....
Gaffer tape and royphenol, does not always = Foreplay 8O

Spike seriously throw the sex in the city out and get 'Bridge too Far' on you abosulte hemer :wink:
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#18
halo_jones said:
theoriginalphantom said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
vvaannmmaann said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
vvaannmmaann said:
What's this,OFH playing for the home team?

Women rather like a man with a soft and tender side. So I'm told, wouldn't know personally, naturally.
Yeah right.
Methinks you protest too much!
When one is as old and ugly as me, one takes whatever one can get!
By force usually.....
Gaffer tape and royphenol, does not always = Foreplay 8O
Really? Sounds ok to me. :wink:
 
#19
theoriginalphantom said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
vvaannmmaann said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
vvaannmmaann said:
What's this,OFH playing for the home team?

Women rather like a man with a soft and tender side. So I'm told, wouldn't know personally, naturally.
Yeah right.
Methinks you protest too much!
When one is as old and ugly as me, one takes whatever one can get!
By force usually.....
Or Rhoopy! :twisted:
 
#20
Hmmmmmm!! :roll:

Just did a quick check, to make sure no-one had been talking about me, while I've been away. 8)

And found this:

PE4rocks said:
vvaannmmaann said:
What's this,OFH playing for the home team?
Nah, I reckon he's trying it on with bovvy(1)...

Slimy old git he is.

(1) Or anything at all with a pulse, come to that.
old_fat_and_hairy said:
When one is as old and ugly as me, one takes whatever one can get!
But I reckon I'll have to accept being classed among "anything with a pulse" 8O ..... especially as those remarks were posted on my 55th birthday ....... so I'm pretty grateful for the pulse.
:oops: :x
 
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