Dear Antie ARRSE

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by spike7451, Jan 4, 2009.

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  1. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    While I have been laid up in bed with the flu for the past week or so,I have been watching 'Sex & The City' triple bill on TV &,seeing it's not on now till next Tuesday,I felt a bit,well,dispondant.
    I've also decided to repaint the bedroom in a pastel shade & get some matching drapes.
    Thing is Antie,I'm getting worried I might be turning gay or worse!
    Should I be worried or is this normal?
    Confused of Dee.
  2. I've noticed other changes in you, Spike. 8O

    You've lost your "oxygen thief" tag (or was it self-inflicted, for a giggle???) :D

    You've lost that devine pussycat avatar. :(

    All the best for 2009.
    bovvy x
  3. Nope defo gay spike :wink:

    Good to see the tag gone though mate.
  4. Dear Confused of Dee.
    There is an imminent danger of gayness while dying from flu, however a cure is at hand.
    Simply tear out the home furnishings pages of the Grattan catalogue that your browsing through and use said pages to blow hooter on.
    Then turn to the ladies lingerie section and thrap yourself silly over the '18 hour control girdle' section.
    Hope this helps. :)

  5. Yep as gay as a May pole :wink:
  6. Check your annual footwear budget.

    If it has expanded from "New pair of trainers because the feckin dog shagged the last ones', to 'Imelda Marcos aint got nothing on me', you've obviously succumbed to the Sex in the City virulence.

    If you're not gay, you're at least now gagging for horse faced, self-involved whiney women... which is just as bad.
  7. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Er....I dont do trainers.....
    oh feck!
  8. You are not gay unless you like football.If you do like football,then I'm affraid you are a right hermer.
    Hope that's cleared things up for you.
  9. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Ignore the rough boys. There is nothing wrong in taking an interest in home decoration, sensitive and emotional television programmes or soft furnishings. It's just getting in touch with your own feminine side, and that can be a great advantage when being in contact with ladies.
    After all, if you were on operations, you would be wearing makeup, decorating your clothing with fashionable accesories and no doubt improving your living accomodation with some tasteful bits and pieces.
  10. What's this,OFH playing for the home team?
  11. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Women rather like a man with a soft and tender side. So I'm told, wouldn't know personally, naturally.
  12. Watch it for much longer and you'll become more and more like Richard Simmons
  13. Yeah right.
    Methinks you protest too much!
  14. Nah, I reckon he's trying it on with bovvy(1)...

    Slimy old git he is.

    (1) Or anything at all with a pulse, come to that.
  15. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    When one is as old and ugly as me, one takes whatever one can get!