Dealing with school bully

Discussion in 'Charities and Welfare' started by gingerslime, Feb 10, 2010.

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  1. Looking for some advise here. My son has been getting picked on by a kid in his class at school. They are both 9 years old. We have complained to the school and were told that both my son and the other kid have been spoken to but both kids were getting in each others face and the other kid had a problem with his temper. It got to the stage that we were in the school on a regular basis and they informed us that the kids parents had been informed and the kid had received some "Red Slips" (the schools punishment for everything from forgetting a pencil to assault by the look of it). My son has come home on a couple of occassions with red marks on his neck and body where this other kid has hit or grabbed him. My son has always loved going to school but the last couple of weeks he has seemed a bit withdrawn and basically seems fucked off that this lad seems to be getting away with physically and verbally attacking him, just today he was being called Gaylord and Freak boy by this .... "kid".

    If I was in the UK we could look at changing schools, but we are in Germany and this is the only middle school in the Garrison. I'm on the verge now of contacting the RMP to report this kid in the hope that it is taken seriously. Is this a step too far or can anyone recommend any other course of action?

    Any advise greatfully received.
     
  2. Get your kid on a rocky 5 style training montage and get him to fill in the kid picking on him. Simples.
     
  3. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

  4. Not sure how to deal with in Germany. In Uk, one of my boys was being bullied, I contacted the school, talked to the headteacher and found I was getting nowhere. The next time it happened, again, spoke to the headteacher, got the waffle about action being taken (my boy was to change class, like that was going to happen). Informed headteacher that if it happened again then I would involve the peelers. Funny thing was, bullying stopped, bully was excluded. Oh yea, if you have a rugby club on site or close, get the boy to take this up, encourages team spirit and they learn some underhand tactics.
     
  5. The getting the little one to retaliate was one of my first choices. We have decided to keep above this little sh*ts level. We have asked for a meeting with the teachers and this kids parents all present but have been told that could not happen in case there was any confrontation. I thought about RMP and was close to dialling the number on a couple of occassions, not so much to get this kid in trouble but just to put the frighteners up him and maybe get him to think about how he is acting. I can't see much more happening without having to go to my welfare office and requesting a welfare posting out of here, which I don't really want to do, messing my son around by moving him to a 4th school in 5 years would not be high on my things to do.
     
  6. He loves rugby, not played it yet but this could be the next step to harder him up a bit. The school have said that they are very reluctant to exclude a child as it would effect their education. When we asked what about our son's education suffering because he is getting worried about going to school and that could lead to him not concentrating fully and falling behind. We were told that that wouldn't happen because the school are monitoring the situation.
     
  7. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    1) Why should your son be dis-advantaged by having to change class/school? He's the victim here (yes I know, but choose your own phrase).
    2) The school must have anti-bullying strategies in place - all schools have to, whether they are enforced, or not, is down to the head teacher.
    3) If the head is seeking a quiet life by ignoring it all, then scream and shout at BFES.
    4) Get the Educational Welfare Officer involved by by making an anomynous referral about your son's tormentor - social workers will be all over the family asap.
     
  8. I had a similar situation with my daughter who was being bullied. From what you say, things have gone far enough. Talk to the head teacher and say that your kid is being physically abused and that you will hold the school responsible if it doesnt cease forthwith. Register a complaint with the RMP and tell them that you want the matter resolved (too many people make complaints, some of the malicious, but very often the non malicious complaints arent followed up by the parents).

    In my case (wrongly, I could have got in deep shit for it) I followed my daughter home from school (by car with my wife), witnessed my daughter being physicaly manhandled by an older girl and then followed the older girl to her house. I then fronted the girl and her mother. Things got a bit heated and I turned it over to the wife to deal with it - always better to let fem deal with fem. Luckily the girls father turned up so I was able to have a word with him and he turned out to be a reasonable bloke. In retrospect it could all have gone horribly wrong. So do things by the book. If you dont register a complaint when things get nasty, you have to start as if the latest incident is the first.
     
  9. Totally agree, all my sons were taught the rudiments of Boxing & self defence BEFORE they went to primary school, not one complained of being bullied, in fact I had the pleasure of seeing my eldest (9 yrs old at the time), deck a classmate for trying to hit my son with a stick, this was whilst both children were on a country walk with both sets of parents. The other father who had watched the whole thing said " serve you right for not stopping when you were asked to (by my son, who had asked 3 times before the decking)!
     
  10. Find this little thugs father and kick the shit out of him. Its his fault for not instilling decent morals in his little twat of a son. Once he is suitably subdued tell him why you have battered him and tell him you will return if his kid trys anything even talking. Bullys will always bully until you beat them up. Also get the young un to do some martial arts, people don`t pick on people they respect.
     
  11. Cheers for all the advice guys. I'll make first stop tomorrow morning my welfare office. See if I can get them on the case of the school with the threat of RMP involvement made very clear.
     
  12. Back home in the slums of Paisley/Glasgow, this is the course of action that I would take but I'm reluctant to get myself in more shit with the army. Only just got myself onto a level where I am being praised for my work and not dragged down for the silly little mistakes that I have made previously. I've put all that behind me. There is also the fact that the school won't give me any details of the kids family. There are lots of units in our Brigade that have kids at this school.
     
  13. Who says who you have to go via the School ??

    A few years back my daughter had a lad her age throw a football her face on three or four occasions on purpose. I didnt even bother with the school I went round and had a quiet polite word with the lads father. He was as angry as I was and sorted it out, the next day my daughter got an apology at school and the guy came round that night to make sure that his lad had done so. Not all parents are serial defenders of their kids actions.

    Meetings with parents in the School etc etc are all good ideas but why not try the simpler approach first. If they get abusive then just walk away and THEN go down the school route. Or why not just go with our first thought and get your lad to kick him in the slats. You can talk until you are blue in the face but no one ever misunderstood the meaning behind one of those.
     
  14. The school won't want to exclude as it flips up their stats and stuff (someone better edumacted and in the edumaction system will either agree or shoot me down in flames on this one).
     
  15. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    Your son will know his tormentor's name, and his year in school. The school might not want to help, but I'm sure that the RMP will be happy to investigate cases of assault where they know the name of the alleged (you have to say that) assailant. His Dad won't be too pleased either, especially when the Badge decides that his feet (the dad's) in the RSM's in-box might be a proportional response to the shoite's antics.