Dealing with drunks/druggies?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Glesga_short_bloke, Apr 13, 2007.

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  1. I had a docs appointment at 5.30. I arrived around 5.25 to an almost deserted waiting room - only 3 people. As I wander in, a dishevelled looking lass piped up "Ere mate, are you a bodybuilder?"
    "no" I politely reply. I find a gap and park up. The waiting room is empty so it's not difficult too find a space away from her. She moves and sits next to me, the aroma of cheap booze and stale fags wafting over the gap. She prods my arm.
    "Are you sure you ain't a bodybuilder mate"
    "Not in 20years" Over the years I've learned never to visit any medical facility without packing a loaded book. I pull Autumn: The Human Condition from my pocket.
    "I work out mate" she says, pulling her arm into a bicep curl. "Whaddya fink?" The track marks stand out proudly against the bruises.
    "Thats good" I reply
    "How big do you fink?"
    "erm...10inches?" I guessed - deliberately overestimating
    "I WISH! 8 1/2 inches mate!" 9inches is 21cm. My wrist is 19cm.

    I opened the book. "Whas' at?" I avoided the obvious answer (a book - duh!)
    "It's called The Human Condition"
    "Wha's it 'bout?"
    Time to think quickly, don't mention zombies - her brain will explode. "Death!" I answer, hoping that, like death itself, would be the end.
    "Thats a bit heavy mate." Then she started talking about how sunny it was

    It strikes me that I'm being chatted up/flirted with. I'm sniffing, dripping snot and farting yet I'm still a tasty option to this...'lady'.
    I was speechless. If I'd been wandering down the street and approached by someone in her condition, I'dve politely have told them where to go. If that didn't work, a swift "FUCK OFF!" normally works.
    Hell, if I'd been drunk I would probably chatted away merrily.
    But I was in a doctors waiting room. She was clearly in need of medical help and in a bit of a shit-state. AND I work in HB/CTAX benefits - she's probably one of my punters. And I'm not a complete barsteward (contrary to popular belief).

    So, WWYD?
  2. Besides the track marks, was she hot?
  3. I have worked as a Paramedic for nearly 20 years and i'm thinking about starting a culling/euthanasia protocol for "self abusingingly challenged/Chav's etc etc types.

    I can see that it might be slightly controversial in some circles but i think that the burden it will take from all decent people and the improvement in society in general will make it worth while.. :threaten:
  4. you should have killed her.
  5. then sent the remains to oxfam to help feed africa
  6. You should have done This!

    MOD Post ......The slight problem with that theory is that you will eventually meet someone like me who will give you one verbal opportunity to leave the area then disable you on a semi permanant basis.

    I live in an inner city area like this and find that injury avoids repeated problems.....MiB
  7. G_S_B you're obviously a studly muchly ;-)
  8. You should have kissed her deeply whilst Kit Kat'ing her back eye.

    Were you at the doctors seeking a remedy for gayness?
  9. She probably whored on the side to support her habit, so good drills for leaving her alone. Christ knows what she was at the doctors for; boiling in Dettol, probably.

  10. Why, when a strong batch of heroin is doing the rounds, do plod tell the junkies to be careful. Is the paperwork for a sudden death from od-ingmore, than the paperwork for them shoplifting etc. :x :x
    Dont tell the fcukers let them have the best buzz they will ever have, and next day pop them in the crematorium. Would thin out the gene pool and save the NHS a sh1tload of money.
  11. Lol, i know what you mean mate, it always puzzles me that we are warned when the strong stuff is going around, its not as if were forcing them to use the stuff, everyone is responsible for their own actions, apparently not in the "granny State" we now live in unfortunately..
  12. Nope, it's no good you've lost me, although I like the sound of it whatever it is. Give us a clue anyone?
  13. Four fingers....
  14. her ricker.
  15. ...Then having her snap the fingers apart, one by one, and lick the brown off. It's an aquired sexual taste, admittedly. But come to an NHS waiting room with a coolbox full of half shitty fingers and a suitable lie, and in a few short weeks, you'll be all set to do it again!