Dealing with drunks/druggies?

#1
I had a docs appointment at 5.30. I arrived around 5.25 to an almost deserted waiting room - only 3 people. As I wander in, a dishevelled looking lass piped up "Ere mate, are you a bodybuilder?"
"no" I politely reply. I find a gap and park up. The waiting room is empty so it's not difficult too find a space away from her. She moves and sits next to me, the aroma of cheap booze and stale fags wafting over the gap. She prods my arm.
"Are you sure you ain't a bodybuilder mate"
"Not in 20years" Over the years I've learned never to visit any medical facility without packing a loaded book. I pull Autumn: The Human Condition from my pocket.
"I work out mate" she says, pulling her arm into a bicep curl. "Whaddya fink?" The track marks stand out proudly against the bruises.
"Thats good" I reply
"How big do you fink?"
"erm...10inches?" I guessed - deliberately overestimating
"I WISH! 8 1/2 inches mate!" 9inches is 21cm. My wrist is 19cm.

I opened the book. "Whas' at?" I avoided the obvious answer (a book - duh!)
"It's called The Human Condition"
"Wha's it 'bout?"
Time to think quickly, don't mention zombies - her brain will explode. "Death!" I answer, hoping that, like death itself, would be the end.
"Thats a bit heavy mate." Then she started talking about how sunny it was

It strikes me that I'm being chatted up/flirted with. I'm sniffing, dripping snot and farting yet I'm still a tasty option to this...'lady'.
I was speechless. If I'd been wandering down the street and approached by someone in her condition, I'dve politely have told them where to go. If that didn't work, a swift "FUCK OFF!" normally works.
Hell, if I'd been drunk I would probably chatted away merrily.
But I was in a doctors waiting room. She was clearly in need of medical help and in a bit of a shit-state. AND I work in HB/CTAX benefits - she's probably one of my punters. And I'm not a complete barsteward (contrary to popular belief).

So, WWYD?
 
#3
I have worked as a Paramedic for nearly 20 years and i'm thinking about starting a culling/euthanasia protocol for "self abusingingly challenged/Chav's etc etc types.

I can see that it might be slightly controversial in some circles but i think that the burden it will take from all decent people and the improvement in society in general will make it worth while.. :threaten:
 
#6
You should have done This!

MOD Post ......The slight problem with that theory is that you will eventually meet someone like me who will give you one verbal opportunity to leave the area then disable you on a semi permanant basis.

I live in an inner city area like this and find that injury avoids repeated problems.....MiB
 
#7
G_S_B you're obviously a studly muchly ;-)
 
#9
She probably whored on the side to support her habit, so good drills for leaving her alone. Christ knows what she was at the doctors for; boiling in Dettol, probably.
 
#10
Double_Duck said:
I have worked as a Paramedic for nearly 20 years and i'm thinking about starting a culling/euthanasia protocol for "self abusingingly challenged/Chav's etc etc types.

I can see that it might be slightly controversial in some circles but i think that the burden it will take from all decent people and the improvement in society in general will make it worth while.. :threaten:


Why, when a strong batch of heroin is doing the rounds, do plod tell the junkies to be careful. Is the paperwork for a sudden death from od-ingmore, than the paperwork for them shoplifting etc. :x :x
Dont tell the fcukers let them have the best buzz they will ever have, and next day pop them in the crematorium. Would thin out the gene pool and save the NHS a sh1tload of money.
 
#11
Lol, i know what you mean mate, it always puzzles me that we are warned when the strong stuff is going around, its not as if were forcing them to use the stuff, everyone is responsible for their own actions, apparently not in the "granny State" we now live in unfortunately..
 
#12
Geordie_Blerk said:
You should have kissed her deeply whilst Kit Kat'ing her back eye.

Were you at the doctors seeking a remedy for gayness?
Nope, it's no good you've lost me, although I like the sound of it whatever it is. Give us a clue anyone?
 
#15
...Then having her snap the fingers apart, one by one, and lick the brown off. It's an aquired sexual taste, admittedly. But come to an NHS waiting room with a coolbox full of half shitty fingers and a suitable lie, and in a few short weeks, you'll be all set to do it again!
 
#16
With ref to your question, WWYD, in situs like this, I mostly say what I think in Norwegian.....

Only time this didn't really work was being 'questioned' by a female green slime officer having been 'captured' on ex - how the fcuk was I suppose to know her mum was a Norgie when I stated how buch I'd like to bend her over a desk and kick her back doors in a fluent Bergen dialect... :roll:
 
#17
perhaps Geordie is right. Mebbe I am a gayer. Perhaps he could send his mum and little brother round to my gaff to see which one I enjoy backscuttling more?

I can't help but worry that if it'd been the wee hours and I'd had a skinful I might not have spotted the drippy blue veins and climbed aboard. You can only catch AIDS once right? :?
 
#18
Saw a drunk/mad woman roaming the back streets of my town (about 12.00hrs) tried to get her to come back to mine but got busted buy a shop keeper who rang an ambulance.. Cnut..
 
#20
stroker said:
Geordie_Blerk said:
You should have kissed her deeply whilst Kit Kat'ing her back eye.

Were you at the doctors seeking a remedy for gayness?
Nope, it's no good you've lost me, although I like the sound of it whatever it is. Give us a clue anyone?
It's fisting for wimps.
 

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