Dead Parrot Joke

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by mad_collie, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. A woman goes to the vet with a parrot in a shoe box. The parrot has obviously snuffed it long since, but she insists that the vet does what he can. The vet takes his stethoscope to the rigid bird, but tells her ‘Sorry madam, but he’s gone’.
    ‘I don’t believe you’ cries the woman, ‘I demand a second opinion’. The vet tells her he will get the best help he can and leaves the room. He returns a couple of minutes later with a Labrador, who jumps onto the bench, sniffs the parrot and lets out a low groan and shakes his head at the vet. The vet says ‘There you are, I told you it was no good’. The woman replies ‘A second rate vet and a dog?? I demand another opinion’, so the vet disappears again. Five minutes later the vet returns, this time with a tabby cat who jumps onto the bench and sniffs the parrot. The moggy instantly arches it’s back and hisses at the deceased bird, before backing away, shaking it’s head. The vet says, ‘That’s pretty conclusive madam, there is nothing we can do here’ and puts the parrot back into the shoe box. As the woman is going through reception to leave, the vet stops here and hands her the bill. ‘£400 to tell me that my parrot is dead??? That’s extortion!’ The vet replies ‘It would have been just £5, but you insisted on the lab report, and the cat scan . . . . ‘