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DCI April Casburn

I'd smash her to bits with my love truncheon.
I think that you may somehow have to contrive to be convicted of a serious criminal offence and be sent to a women's prison to serve your time. Even then you're going to have to join a queue of very aggressive and competitive dykes.

She's just been found guilty.
"Casburn will be sentenced later this month on a date to be fixed and was released on unconditional bail until then.
The court heard that she is currently in the process of adopting a three-year-old child.
Mr Justice Fulford said: 'A real possibility is an immediate custodial sentence, but I’m obviously going to have to consider very carefully the issues that we’ve ventilated this afternoon and any other mitigation."

Now there's a thing, another wheeze to get out of jail free. If the prospect of being naughty is a jail sentence, quickly set up a process to adopt a kid. Although don't you think that a conviction would stop one adopting?

Remember, you heard it here (but not first)!

She tried to pull the 'it was a massive boys club and I felt alienated' stroke during her evidence. The jury seems to have been unimpressed. This was the boss saying that she did not have control over the troops.

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