Days to live

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mighty_doh_nut, Mar 29, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. [​IMG]

    Dale is killing her dog in the not too distant future.

    There is apparently nothing wrong with it, apart from it stinking of wet dog and fags.

    We need suggestions on how it should depart and to convince her to put it on here for out entertainment.

    I reckon it should have its snout and feet sawn off then let six of us beat it with scaffolding poles.

  2. She could make a porn/snuff movie with it.
  3. You could throw it on an iceburg off canada and hope they think its a seal cub
  4. Twat it over the head with a hammer.
    If that fails
    Administer several heavy blows to it's abdomen and leave to die!
  5. A plastic tube should be inserted up its a55, then a 40 metre length of razor wire fed up the tube, then remove the tube and throw the dog off a 50 metre high building, and see how much of it reaches the ground.

    Or alternatively, the beating with scaffold poles works for me, it would make a good youtube vid anyway.
  6. I reckon the death should be raffled for MDN's lady boyfund, with the most creative one being the winner and going out livo on webcam.

    I want to strangle it until its eye capillaries burst, then just as its greying out release it and stamp on its jaw.

    while itsstill reeling in pain from this' I want to kick it so hard in the ribs it does a 180 in the air, and finish it off by inserting a high pressure air line into its arse and inflting it like a hairy useless balloon.

    I will then present the corpse to the WO's & Sgt's Mess of 39 Engineer Regiment to use as a dems target.
  7. How about giving it a fighting chance? Turn the lights out and try to shave it with a cut-throat razor.
  8. Fcuk it, cook it and eat it. Problem solved.
  9. Of course this thread is for humour's sake only, and nothing at all will happene to the dog - in case a passing journo takes a look in here....

    I think you should shoot it into space, with huge fireworks!
  10. Dress it as an old lady and send it to a BMA conference. If it gets out of there alive, it'll be a bloody miracle.
  11. give it to the McCanns to take on'll never see the little stour smelling rodent again
  12. msr

    msr LE

    We're talking abou the dog, not dale...

  13. Stick a load of Polly Filler up it's arse then feed it loads of curry and see it it explodes