day to day life of a pilot

Discussion in 'Aviation' started by cdt_parker, Mar 27, 2006.

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  1. hey all, could anyone please tell me what the day to day life of an AAC pilot is like in peacetime and on ops, also what would be the best route to become a pilot as a soldier, eg. infantry gunners aviation ground crew. thanks

  2. Oh dear!
  3. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    The first thing to remember is, always treat your kite like you treat your woman.
  4. Eat Ginsters morning, lunch and dinner until you have to be pushed into the aptitude tests in a wheelchair.
  5. Quite. Get inside her five times a day, and take her to heaven and back!
  6. Only consider pilot if you can afford an expensive pair of sunglasses, enjoy sitting around all day not flying but dealing with welfare/some other bollox and it's not a must but a strange accent is desirable
  7. er, are there any good points about being a pilot

  8. is that peter parker of the daily tribune????
  9. with grammer like that you'll never make pilot - "are there any good points etc"

    Now write it out 200 times before sunset or I'll chop your b*llocks off

    I thought all the issues raised here were positive? :)
  10. Soz mate, should have added this:

    Army Pilot Rations

    Good luck.
  11. Err. They are the good points!

    Sat around all day eating Ginsters, drinking tea. Payed film star wages. The envy of mere ground bound mortals. Oh, go flying occasionally.

    Fly when you can, Auth what you want, Log what you need.

    Its not all cushy in the AAC you know.
  12. 06:00. Woken up by blue-bereted vision of loveliness. Kick several nurses out of bed from the night before. Brush teeth.

    06:30. Ride powerful motorcycle to Mess. Enjoy sumptuous breakfast.

    08:00. "Ginger" your faithful REME SSgt mechanic lovingly polishes the nose cannon on your super-duper Apache attack helicopter. You playfully slap him in the face with your riding crop and jump in, shouting "tally-ho!"

    08:01. You realise that your "kite" has no functioning engine pack, so you jump out and return to bed until after lunch.

    12:00. Lunch. Four rare steaks, two bottles of claret and a fight with the RAF attachment. Which you win.

    13:00. Ginger has arranged for an engine pack for your throbbing attack helo. His crew put the finishing touches to the cartoon art underneath the canopy, illustrating the number of cows you've scared to death by flying very low over SW England.

    14:00. Quick blast around in your kite, drop in at nearby Majestic Wine Warehouse and load several cases of Dom Perignon into empty weapon bays.

    16:00. Land kite in grounds of nearest posh lady's college and enjoy social soiree whilst bearing badge-encrusted growbag.

    19:00. Return to Mess with new girlfriends, ruck with RAF types, sing-song around the piano, etc.

    00:00. To bed, another glorious day of defending Queen and Country over and done with. Your faithful REME ground crew serenade you to sleep.
  13. Or in reality:

    07:15 - Wake up afer ignoring alarm in last night clothes, gyros wrappers on floor and breathing a green cloud which smells like the inside of an arse.

    07:30 - Throw a growbag on because you are too fat to fit in Lightweights and too idle to press anything else.

    07:45 - Ride your OTT mountain bike into work and gather around the Uckers table, spend the morning shouting 'up blob, mixy, split, out with the yellows' until you are called into the met breif by a dull man in brown pants and a beard.

    10:30 - Assemble at teh mess and whine about the Groundie RSM who wants you to do the odd duty

    11:00 - Return to sqn lines avoiding the BATS who need an airtest doing and ignoring the crew chief who is undermanned and needs a lift watching a blade out the hangar doors.

    12:00 - Go home for lunch to the ugly wife you met before you passed your APC and sit there thinking 'I wonder if I could pull fitter at an airshow' look down at the stains on yoru growbag and realise you couldn't pull in Mon Cheries with 500DM hanging out your arse pocket.

    13:00 - Sqn PT bomburst, hide, mark maps, refer to Army pamphlets and find a new excuse not to join in.

    14:00 - Cab goes tits on start, so back to ops room for a game of Uckers and an early stack.

    14:15 - On way home you forget you've not raided the groundies night flying rations and return to rob them leaving them with fcuk all.

    14:30 - Go to Morrisons in your Passat estate and ugly wife

    15:00 - Go to Blockbusters and sign out Wings of the Apache and sit there in your grow back rubbing your tool.
  14. Still all positive points, does noone have a bad word to say for AAC? :D

  15. Fcuk me, I've been followed! Vehicle recognition is poor though, it's an Audi. And lets not forget, ugly women are always more grateful. :)