Day in court

Picture this ... Defence Barrister for the defence in a murder case at Crown Court is cross examining the ninety four year old female offender.

The barrister commences with the following question:

Will you please state your age?

I am 94 years old.

Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Did you know him?

No, but he sure was friendly.

What happened after he sat down?

He started to rub my thigh.

Did you stop him?

No, I didn't stop him.

Why not?

It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

What happened next?

He began to rub my breasts.

Did you stop him then?

No, I did not stop him.

Why not?

His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

What happened next?

Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him
'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Did he take you?

Hell, no! He just yelled, ' April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard

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