dating ads and what they really mean

Discussion in 'Lonely Hearts' started by Snips, Oct 31, 2002.

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  1. GSOH - good sense of humour means 'you'll need one when you see me'

    Considered attractive - means 'I'm ugly as fcuk, but I'm trying to make myself sound a bit better'

    Likes quiet evenings in - means 'I'm a fat lazy b@stard who lies on the couch watching telly

    Mature - means basically 'I'm collecting my pension'
     
  2. 40-ish....................49

    Adventurous...............Slept with all your mates

    Athletic..................No tits

    Average looking...........Has a face like an arse

    Beautiful.................Pathological liar

    Contagious Smile..........Does a lot of pills

    Emotionally Secure........On medication

    Feminist..................Fat

    Free spirit...............Junkie

    Friendship first..........Former slut

    Gentle....................Dull

    Good Listener.............Autistic

    New-Age...................Body hair problems

    Old-fashioned.............No BJs or ana1

    Open-minded...............Desperate

    Outgoing..................Loud and Embarrassing

    Passionate................Sloppy drunk

    Poet......................Depressive

    Professional..............B*tch

    Romantic..................Frigid

    Voluptuous................Very Fat

    Large lady................Hugely Fat

    Wants Soulmate............Stalker

    Widow.....................Murderer
     
  3. Operationally pretty - Sniper Bird :D
     
  4. CGS

    CGS War Hero Moderator

    Ma_sonic,

    This is looking more and more like a case of the little schoolboy pulling the little girls' hair in the playground.
     
  5. or little schoolboy pulling other schoolboy's pr1cks in the playground. ;D
     
  6. I take it that was meant to be witty?
     
  7. Remember she carries a gun Ma
    Before you say she is in the TA, professionals are predictable it the amateurs you need to watch out for.


    Falkland Beauty ------- great at the time (lasts until Brize)
     
  8. Must be financially secure = I want your cash, sucker.

    Nas ne dogonyat  ;D
     
  9. Sniper-bird -

    What range, what weapon??
     
  10. Lonely = my husband is on Op Telic, taken the cashpoint card with him and left me with £100 to last until he gets back.  ( I wonder how I am going to afford that LOA bill he keeps telling me that he pays?) ;)