dating ads and what they really mean

S

Snips

Guest
#1
GSOH - good sense of humour means 'you'll need one when you see me'

Considered attractive - means 'I'm ugly as fcuk, but I'm trying to make myself sound a bit better'

Likes quiet evenings in - means 'I'm a fat lazy b@stard who lies on the couch watching telly

Mature - means basically 'I'm collecting my pension'
 
S

Snips

Guest
#2
40-ish....................49

Adventurous...............Slept with all your mates

Athletic..................No tits

Average looking...........Has a face like an arse

Beautiful.................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile..........Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure........On medication

Feminist..................Fat

Free spirit...............Junkie

Friendship first..........Former slut

Gentle....................Dull

Good Listener.............Autistic

New-Age...................Body hair problems

Old-fashioned.............No BJs or ana1

Open-minded...............Desperate

Outgoing..................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate................Sloppy drunk

Poet......................Depressive

Professional..............B*tch

Romantic..................Frigid

Voluptuous................Very Fat

Large lady................Hugely Fat

Wants Soulmate............Stalker

Widow.....................Murderer
 

CGS

War Hero
Moderator
#4
Ma_sonic,

This is looking more and more like a case of the little schoolboy pulling the little girls' hair in the playground.
 
#7
Remember she carries a gun Ma
Before you say she is in the TA, professionals are predictable it the amateurs you need to watch out for.


Falkland Beauty ------- great at the time (lasts until Brize)
 
#8
Must be financially secure = I want your cash, sucker.

Nas ne dogonyat  ;D
 
#9
Sniper-bird -

What range, what weapon??
 
#10
Lonely = my husband is on Op Telic, taken the cashpoint card with him and left me with £100 to last until he gets back.  ( I wonder how I am going to afford that LOA bill he keeps telling me that he pays?) ;)
 
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