Das Boot scrounger

P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#1
I have recently come up with a new business plan.

I shall tackle the Somalian pirates at their own game. To that end I need a fleet of U-boats. Does anyone have any lying around that I could have?

With Enigma machines are preferable, but I'll make-do with ones that have had them confiscated.

I'm already aware of one U-boat that I saw in a museum in Chicago, and I'm already drawing up plans to steal it. So if you could all check your old kit bags/lofts/garages, and get back to me; it would be appreciated.

Much love.







Oh, crew needed too. I'm not going!
 
#3
There's an old Russian 'Foxtrot' somewhere in Kent, I think it still works. I'll join your crew. But only if I can become Captain, failing that, Political Kommisar.

I haven't got an Enigma machine, is a buckshee Batco wallet OK?
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#4
I may be able to help. IronDuke Heavy Industries BVD has recently bought several tons of U Boats for people who do not have a Scoobie about buying an adequate submarine and maintaining it for years. We call it the 'StupidAsADeadKipper' range. Or 'ForYouZeVarIssOverAdolf' for short. We have a website but I do not know where it is.

PM me for details. Cash, credit cards, Paypal or may swap for a Jet-Ski.
 
#6
I would join as crew but I am too worried about asking if anyone has a shirt they could lend me.
 
#7
I would join as crew but I am too worried about asking if anyone has a shirt they could lend me.
I have, so your sorted, as long as you don't weigh half a tonne. If you do I'll sign you on as 'ballast'.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#8
Ps. Bags first go on the persicope
Fuck off down the bowels of the boat and take your dodgy Arron knit sweater with you.

We require a Doctor Fucking Evil on the periscope. Lean, hard looking, well dressed even though he is stuck in a smelly submarine full of Numpties. Suave, sophisticated and cool. Been around the block but still capable of banging a PR bird over the planning table. In short, a fucking Geezer.

I know just the chap.

May swap for a jet-ski.
 
#12
There's loads of U-Boats just lying about, not far from Londonderry I believe.
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
Visit Birkenheed, U 534 may need welded together again.
I remember when that thing first arrived - I drove round the corner and almost crashed the car. I really didn't expect to see a fully grown U-Boat on the way to Hamilton Square. Mind you, it was up on chocks at the time so I assumed that someone from the North End had tried to steal the tyres.

 
#16
Right then - I think I'm the only sundodger to reply so far...... I'm in! You'll REALLY need a Sonar Bender, trust me!

Can I wear my kissing kippers? Oh and I'll need a new white wooly pully as the moths got mine*. Do we get Submarine Pay? How much?

Having just read 'Delta Force' will we get to keep all the money we recover from the pesky pirate types?




8 Then again, it will probably be too hot out there.




OOOOOOh OOOOOOh, please can we stop at Mombasa again, just for old times sake?
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#17
Right then - I think I'm the only sundodger to reply so far...... I'm in! You'll REALLY need a Sonar Bender, trust me!

Can I wear my kissing kippers? Oh and I'll need a new white wooly pully as the moths got mine*. Do we get Submarine Pay? How much?

Having just read 'Delta Force' will we get to keep all the money we recover from the pesky pirate types?




8 Then again, it will probably be too hot out there.




OOOOOOh OOOOOOh, please can we stop at Mombasa again, just for old times sake?
Shut it you frothing cunt. FORMER_FYRDMAN says U-Boats have wheels with tyres on them. I was not informed of this. I feel a quiet chat in my office may be the way forward. After you.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#19
You do know that some subs had aircraft launchers?
Yeah, and some cunts spread the rumor at various security exhibitions that the F-117 was shaped like that because it could be launched from a nuclear sub. Under the sea.

But nobody mentioned wheels on fucking submarines. Fuck. Do Kwik-Fit have a branch in the Mariana Trench does anybody know?
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#20
For schale or leasche -

One (1) Schoviet Kilo Clasche schubmarine, one owner, low mileage, reposcheched due to ideological differenschesches.

Will schwap for casche of whischky.

Contact,

Schean Connery,

1 Taxdodge Closche

Coschta Packet,

Schpain.
 

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