Das Boot scrounger

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by PrinceAlbert, Feb 7, 2013.

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  1. I have recently come up with a new business plan.

    I shall tackle the Somalian pirates at their own game. To that end I need a fleet of U-boats. Does anyone have any lying around that I could have?

    With Enigma machines are preferable, but I'll make-do with ones that have had them confiscated.

    I'm already aware of one U-boat that I saw in a museum in Chicago, and I'm already drawing up plans to steal it. So if you could all check your old kit bags/lofts/garages, and get back to me; it would be appreciated.

    Much love.

    Oh, crew needed too. I'm not going!
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Ok....what about a fleet of bath tubs?
  3. There's an old Russian 'Foxtrot' somewhere in Kent, I think it still works. I'll join your crew. But only if I can become Captain, failing that, Political Kommisar.

    I haven't got an Enigma machine, is a buckshee Batco wallet OK?
  4. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    I may be able to help. IronDuke Heavy Industries BVD has recently bought several tons of U Boats for people who do not have a Scoobie about buying an adequate submarine and maintaining it for years. We call it the 'StupidAsADeadKipper' range. Or 'ForYouZeVarIssOverAdolf' for short. We have a website but I do not know where it is.

    PM me for details. Cash, credit cards, Paypal or may swap for a Jet-Ski.
  5. Now, if I had a jet-ski I wouldn't need a U-boat!
  6. I would join as crew but I am too worried about asking if anyone has a shirt they could lend me.
  7. I have, so your sorted, as long as you don't weigh half a tonne. If you do I'll sign you on as 'ballast'.
  8. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Fuck off down the bowels of the boat and take your dodgy Arron knit sweater with you.

    We require a Doctor Fucking Evil on the periscope. Lean, hard looking, well dressed even though he is stuck in a smelly submarine full of Numpties. Suave, sophisticated and cool. Been around the block but still capable of banging a PR bird over the planning table. In short, a fucking Geezer.

    I know just the chap.

    May swap for a jet-ski.
    • Like Like x 2
  9. Visit Birkenheed, U 534 may need welded together again.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. There's loads of U-Boats just lying about, not far from Londonderry I believe.
    • Like Like x 1

    FORMER_FYRDMAN LE Book Reviewer

    I remember when that thing first arrived - I drove round the corner and almost crashed the car. I really didn't expect to see a fully grown U-Boat on the way to Hamilton Square. Mind you, it was up on chocks at the time so I assumed that someone from the North End had tried to steal the tyres.