Darwin awards for 2018

The Ace Crocodile of all time is Gustave from Burundi. Believed to have killed 300 people. Seriously, Burundians, it's not safe to go in the water.

Gustave (crocodile) - Wikipedia
During the Rwanda and Burundi genocides the bodies would drift down the river into Lake Tanganyika. Crocs were so overfed they wouldn't even look at them.

Thieves' Beach in Buj is near the Cercle Nautique and no place to leave your kit unattended. Same goes for kids. One family bopping around the boom box noticed their two year old was missing from where it had been sitting playing a couple of feet away. Croc tracks were the only indication of what had happened. Bugger came out of the water, grabbed the kid and was gone in a few seconds while attention was elsewhere.

Sundays we used to form a raft of boats and other floaty things a mile or two offshore and sit there playing cards and supping beer until the wind came up and made it uncomfortable. Was stretched out on a windsurfer one morning when a croc came chugging by a few feet away. Nearly soiled myself but the blokes reckoned he was only interested in making shore and the deep water put him off hunting as it was a schlepp to drag prey that distance. Still didn't do my shorts any good.
 
During the Rwanda and Burundi genocides the bodies would drift down the river into Lake Tanganyika. Crocs were so overfed they wouldn't even look at them.

Thieves' Beach in Buj is near the Cercle Nautique and no place to leave your kit unattended. Same goes for kids. One family bopping around the boom box noticed their two year old was missing from where it had been sitting playing a couple of feet away. Croc tracks were the only indication of what had happened. Bugger came out of the water, grabbed the kid and was gone in a few seconds while attention was elsewhere.
Can we sponsor the crocs?
 
I am not nominating the dog......or the croc.


After nine years of yapping at crocs, it finally happened.
A saltwater crocodile has eaten a dog that made a mockery of it for years, to the horror of onlookers who captured the scene on camera, who was at first herd to say "Start recording", very aware of the dog's actions to bark at the crocodile.
At Goat Island Lodge, south of Darwin in the middle of the crocodile-infested Adelaide River, guests had gathered to watchdog Pippa (aka the Dumb Blonde Dog) perform her favourite trick — running at "Casey the Crocodile" to scare her back into the river.
But to the alarm of those looking on, including owner Kai Hansen, Pippa ran straight at her head — and Casey "did what crocs do".
The video of Pippa being dragged into the water was made worse by the screams of bystanders but serves as a bleak warning about the river's dangers.

As owner Mr Hansen conceded, "it was something that had a high probability of happening sometime".
Crocodile eats beloved terrier that spent a decade taunting it

Give the owners the award for winging about it afterwards.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
Damn - beaten to the punch - from today's i-newspaper also:

UPSKIRTER'S SHOE CAMERA BLOWS UP
A US man who fitted a secret
camera in his shoe to peer
up women's skirts was injured when
the device exploded.
The 32 year old 'upskirter'
who has not been named,
( but known locally under the pseudonym Earth)*
had installed the device to take illicit
photographs but the battery
blew up before he had the
chance to use it, said police in
Madison Wisconsin.
' When the explosion
happened, he got treatment
for minor burns'

officer David Dexheimer
told the Wisconsin State Journal newspaper.
The man reportedly
handed himself into police,
reporting a 'sex offence' .




* [ Shurely shome mishtake? see me - Ed. ]
 
Last edited:
Nearly a Darwin...
Wisconsin man injured after upskirting shoe camera explodes

Shoe camera blast foils upskirter

You could not make it up.
You couldn't nominate it for a Darwin Award either.

The Darwin Awards site said:
In the spirit of Charles Darwin, the Darwin Awards commemorate individuals who protect our gene pool by making the ultimate sacrifice of their own lives. Darwin Award winners eliminate themselves in an extraordinarily idiotic manner, thereby improving our species' chances of long-term survival.
Shoe-related discomfort doesn't even come close.

This one belongs to His Imperial Purpleness.
 
Now this is REAL Darwin at work:

Lions eat 'rhino poachers' on South African game reserve
BBC Africa News

At least two suspected rhino poachers have been mauled to death and eaten by lions on a South African game reserve, officials say.

Rangers discovered the remains of two, possibly three, people in a lion enclosure in the Sibuya reserve, near the south-east town of Kenton-on-Sea.

A high-powered rifle and an axe were also found.

"We're not sure how many there were - there's not much left of them."

Lions 3 - 0 Poachers

Get in there!
 
It seems that Darwin and the Emperor Mong are in cahoots this week:

Three YouTube vloggers die in waterfall plunge

Three members of a YouTube travel blogging collective have died after falling over a waterfall in Canada.

Ryker Gamble, Alexey Lyakh and Megan Scraper were part of High On Life, who post videos of their travel adventures.

The group said: "They were three of the warmest, kindest and most driven and outgoing people you could ever meet.



That's just a little more oxygen left for the rest of us.
 
Now this is REAL Darwin at work:

Lions eat 'rhino poachers' on South African game reserve
BBC Africa News

At least two suspected rhino poachers have been mauled to death and eaten by lions on a South African game reserve, officials say.

Rangers discovered the remains of two, possibly three, people in a lion enclosure in the Sibuya reserve, near the south-east town of Kenton-on-Sea.

A high-powered rifle and an axe were also found.

"We're not sure how many there were - there's not much left of them."

Lions 3 - 0 Poachers

Get in there!
Hopefully they had not paid their lobola.
 
Now this is REAL Darwin at work:

Lions eat 'rhino poachers' on South African game reserve
BBC Africa News

At least two suspected rhino poachers have been mauled to death and eaten by lions on a South African game reserve, officials say.

Rangers discovered the remains of two, possibly three, people in a lion enclosure in the Sibuya reserve, near the south-east town of Kenton-on-Sea.

A high-powered rifle and an axe were also found.

"We're not sure how many there were - there's not much left of them."

Lions 3 - 0 Poachers

Get in there!
May be arrse could do a crowd fund for the lions - a few pounds of prime steak for a job well done?
 
I'm putting this in the Darwin Awards because this family seem to be intent on eraring their part of the gene pool:

One-two-three...any more for any more?

Now I know that some will be fans of motor cycling and some will be fans of the various members of Dunlop dynasty, but three seems just a bit suicidal to me, either that or the Emperor mong has a vendetta.
 
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