Darwin Award

Gene Pool Improvement?

  • Yep - nominate for a Darwin Award!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No, it's too common

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Ooooh the poor dear.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • You cold-hearted barsteward you!

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
I know it's probably a bit raw right now, but who cares? Yes, I'm going to hell. :twisted:

Got to work this morning and was just settling into me ARRSE sofa when I got a call from my very shaken missus who was due to get on a train to London this morning for a meeting.

She asked me to come down and meet her as some blerk was on the railway line.

Cue me, Mr Heart, leaping off to do my duty in supporting me good lady missus, and not just to see some gore.

Gets down there, and there's all the shocked crowds and grief ghouls, and there's our boy, on the tracks, being resuscitated.

Turns out, he's a cyclist, and he'd carted his bicycle down the steps over his shoulder and on to the platform; got back on it, started peddling, and was heard to say "Oh Gawd, nooo!" before he went off the edge of the platform, gripping his broken brake levers with everything he had. The pedal clips didn't help him has he, still attached to them, cartwheeled head first onto the live rail, whereupon he twitched and fizzled and smoked for a good five minutes before someone found the off button.

Looks like they managed to resuscitate him, but I don't think he'll stay that way for long.

I don't think my mentioning my urgent requirement for a burger upon sniffing the air went down too well, but hey ho, I was hungry.

The question! Darwin Award for this man? I think so. Considered thoughts please ladeez and gennelmen.
 
#2
The decent part of me (if there is one) says that I should feel sorry for the loss of a life even if it was in such a stupid manner. However, cyclists break all the rules of society so I wll put my cross in the Darwin box and join Biped for a burger.
 
#3
Biped said:
I know it's probably a bit raw right now, but who cares? Yes, I'm going to hell. :twisted:
Looks like I'll be joining you, I've just sat here laughing with some very strange looks from my boss. Even more strange looks when I told him the story.

Not quite worthy of a Darwin because he hasn't managed to remove himself from the gene pool, however isn't there a sub-award for those that almost achieve their greatest gift to humanity?
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#4
Living in a city that has more cyclists than just about anywhere else. All with no lights, brakes or brains I welcome his actions and speed him well on the way to cyclist heaven.

RIP pedaller. (If he has popped his lycra yet)
 

BrunoNoMedals

LE
Kit Reviewer
#5
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Living in a city that has more cyclists than just about anywhere else. All with no lights, brakes or brains I welcome his actions and speed him well on the way to cyclist heaven.
Indeed. After the recent announcement that Bristol is to be turned into the UK's first "cycling city" I'm beginning to regret the fact that Abbey Wood only has a moat, and not machine gun nests.

WTF was the tool doing riding a bike on the platform, anyway?
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
I'm so pleased. I thought maybe (for a nanosecond) that I was being a bit heartless. At the end of the day, only a proper tool would cycle on a railway platform!

Looks like, from the time spent on the live rail, he's not long for this world, and even if he does make it, he'll be put in a bowl with some croutons.
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
Can we auction his bike to raise money for MDN's Spanish Endeavours?

Have a competition to name the soup?
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#8
Well, out of disaster, good fortune can be got. I'm up for a 'slightly soiled' bicycle auction (if I can get me hands on it), and certainly, let's get working on a name for that soup.

I'd like to start with 'Cabbage Soup', and bid £5.00 towards MDN's auctions.
 
#9
Biped said:
Well, out of disaster, good fortune can be got. I'm up for a 'slightly soiled' bicycle auction (if I can get me hands on it), and certainly, let's get working on a name for that soup.

I'd like to start with 'Cabbage Soup', and bid £5.00 towards MDN's auctions.
"Spazsplashio" for the soup? Don't want or need the bike.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
Bang him in a tin and you've got Fry Bentos maybe?
 
#11
Were there delays due to the 'wrong kind of cyclist on the line'? - actually, thinking about it, anyone foolish enough to cycle on the platform is exactly the right kind of cyclist to be attached to the rails.
 
#12
Biped, you seem to be in shock. Has anyone approached you to offer counselling for witnessing such a tragic event? If not then keep your mouth shut as you'll be able to claim compensation for hurt feelings in about 2 or 3 years time.

I am telling you, it's a win win situation mate.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
Here ya go:

Tool breaks on line

Beeb

Turns out he was in his forties, and cycled down some steps onto the platform first!!!!

I'm afraid we've sh!t out on the Darwin Awards thing so far, but I believe he may yet be able to get an Honourable Mention. :twisted:

Here's a right corker from the ever-caring Network Rail: :twisted:

Service Alteration

Trespass incident at St Leonards Warrior Square between Bexhill and Hastings
THIS INCIDENT HAS BEEN CLEARED
Last updated 24/06/2008 12:15
Route Affected

London Charing Cross/ Cannon Street, Orpington, St Leonards Warrior Square & Hastings and London Victoria/ London Bridge/ Brighton, Eastbourne, Bexhill, St Leonards Warrior Square, Hastings & Ore/ Ashford International

TOC(s) Affected Southeastern, Southern
Description

Train services between Bexhill and Hastings are being disrupted due to a trespass incident at St Leonards Warrior Square.

Delays of up to 45 minutes and alterations can be expected.

The current estimate for a normal service to resume is 12.00
Time reported cleared 24/06/2008 12:15
Thank you MWA for that useful reminder about the delayed shock I am sure to feel. I've still got the shakes, my vision is blurred and I may not be able to sleep tonight because of nightmares. Anyone got a number for an ambulance chas . . . . erm, someone who could help me?

Cyclist electrocuted on railway track
By Andy Whelan

A cyclist is fighting for his life after he was electrocuted by a 750-volt railway track.

The man, believed to be in his 40s, lost control of his push bike on the station platform this morning (Tuesday).

He suffered severe burns to his face when he fell onto the live railway line at Warrior Square in St Leonards.
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He is being treated at the Conquest Hospital in St Leonards for severe burns to his face and body.

Station staff and customers saw the man riding his bike down the station steps to the platform before crashing onto the track.

A British Transport Police spokeswoman said: "The man has suffered life-threatening burn injuries as a result of the incident.

"We are still trying to get his identification and let his next of kin know what has happened.

"This would appear to be an accident. However, it would seem that the man in question had acted slightly recklessly in riding his bike in such a fashion.

"The railway lines are not a playground."

Staff called the emergency services at 8.48am. Southern, the train operator, reopened the track at 9.45am.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#17
vvaannmmaann said:
From what I have seen of most Hastings residents,they all belong on the live rail.
Have some pity will you FFS! This poor guy, if he makes it through isn't going to be able to show his face around there again!

Cab for one, thanks.
 
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