Dangerous flap jack banned at school

#1
Roll up, roll up, get your outrage over 'elf and safety gone mad' here

Castle View School | Meridian - ITV News

Castle View School on Canvey Island, Essex, bans triangular flapjacks on health safety grounds | Mail Online

shows how slow a news day it is really.

A school has banned triangular flapjacks on health and safety grounds after a pupil was hit in the eye by one during a lunch-time food fight.
Dinner ladies at the comprehensive school were told to cut flapjacks into squares or rectangles only from now on after the Year 7 boy was sent home complaining of a sore eye.
why couldn't the school do something about pupil behaviour?
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#7
When I was just a mere lad I found a bicycle clip in the school playground. Realising that this could produce hours of endless fun as a weapon I kept it for the right time and place.

After finding that, if you bent it back on its self and released it, it would fly from your hand like an exocet. A couple of well aimed leg shots I thought I would go for a back shot. At the moment of release the receiver of the exocet turned round and got the missile straight in the eye. Cue me being suspended from school pending tests on child to see if I blinded him. Luckily I didn't.

Flapjacks.......Fucking amateurs.
 
#9
No wonder the country is in such a shit state with your numeracy skills....
had you forgotten that flapjacks are 3 dimensional?
 
#12
Roll up, roll up, get your outrage over 'elf and safety gone mad' here

Castle View School | Meridian - ITV News

Castle View School on Canvey Island, Essex, bans triangular flapjacks on health safety grounds | Mail Online

shows how slow a news day it is really.



why couldn't the school do something about pupil behaviour?
So if you cut them into squares and rectangles, there is still a corner, but the angle is more obtuse.
Perhaps they should cut them in circles…….

Then you could launch them frisbee style.
 
#13
A circular flapjack still has two corners.



A sphere is clearly the only safe option.
 

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
#14
Gentleman, you're missing the point.

Banning triangular flapjacks has kept one council health and safety advisor in work, thus improving the UK's employment figures.

Next, we will hear that crayoning on things can ruin them and therefore crayons are also to be banned on health and safety grounds.

Wordsmith
 
#15
At what depth does one corner become two?
 
#18
One of my mates set fire to a girl at school. He flicked a lit match at her and because she was drenched in body spray she went up like a roman candle. No serious damage done but was a close one.

Flapjacks bah!!!
 
#19
Ciircular and even spherical fat boy's flapjacks are out, mathematically construed and without fucking off on a tangent, a curve is simply an infinate number of corners all fucking budged up together like, you are guaranteed one of those corners in your eye, if not shit loads of them!
 

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