Danger! MCGA Miffed at ABBA

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Jul 16, 2008.

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  1. Mama Mia - the most dangerous movie of the year?

    Britain's Maritime and Coast Guard Agency gave the fizzy ABBA musical movie two sodden thumbs down because of a scene in which four characters - three late middle-agedmen who should know better, and one nubile bride-to-be - leap joyfully off a cliff on a Greek Isle into water 10 metres below..

    The MCGA called the move ' irresponsible '...Noting that this summer they have seen two broken necks among a spate of injuries by folks doing similar stunts.

    The film also shows sailing a yacht without benefit of lifejackets, failure to use sunscreen and dressing in skin-tight - though sexy - clothing that could restrict blood supply to vital regions.
    [ though not necessarily life-threatening, having to listen to 18 ABBA songs could be considered worthy of a 'restricted' label and warning not to take young children to the show ]

    The producers of the flick did include a disclaimer at the end of the film because a character smokes a cigar in one scene " The depictions of tobacco smoking contained in this film are based soley on artistic considerations and are not intended to promote tobacco consumption. The Us Surgeon-General has determined that there are serious health risks associated with smoking and second-hand smoke " - Well, that gets them off the hook and makes the legal department breath easier as they sit about the boardroom sipping sherry and lighting up a cubana or two..dodged a bullet there, metaphorically speaking...

    Seems the Incredible Hulk had the same legal mumbo jumbo because the character of General ' Thunderbolt ' Ross also was seen chomping a a stogie in some scenes. Blowing up and destroying geat swaths of America weren't advised against or standing too close to Gamma Rays didn't warrant a sticker on the machine, could have saved Banner a really bad headache and wardrobe disaster...

    Seems Speed Racer got slammed for showing smoking to ' impressionable youth ' without warning them of the dangers, but didn't feel moved to suggest that the public might want to rconsider gratuitous depictions of driving really really fast was for ' artistic consideration' and not an endorsement to disregard speed limits and road laws...

    If the bee-in-their-bonnet ' special interest groups' get their way the damn films will have warning messages taking up more space than the interminable credits that already clutter up the flicks.

    Still, can see a burgeoning career in ' Advisory Notice Writing for Film and TV ' forming here.
     
  2. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    I'm onto it...


    YOUR FILM - TERMS & CONDITIONS APPLY

    This film is meant for educational purposes only. Send no money now. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. To prevent electric shock, do not open back panel. No user serviceable parts inside. You may or may not have additional rights which may vary from country to country. Not recommended for children under fifteen years of age. Batteries not included. Limit 1 per customer. Does not come with any other figures. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Keep away from open flame or spark. Void where prohibited. No smoking in the charge room. Some assembly required. All rights reserved. List each check separately by bank number. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. Parental discretion advised. No other warranty expressed or implied. Unauthorised copying of this film strictly prohibited. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. May contain peanut by-products. Postage will be paid by addressee. In case of eye contact, flush with water. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Use other side for additional listings. Recycled. For recreational use only. Shipping and handling extra. No animals were harmed in the production of this film. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. Freshest if consumed before date on carton. Prices subject to change without notice. Times approximate. No postage necessary if mailed in Singapore. If swallowed, do not induce vomiting. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. Product of ethical labour policy. As seen on TV. We reserve the right to limit quantities. One size fits all. Do not leave funds without collecting a receipt. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-active ingredients. Colours may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. This product is only warranted to the original retail purchaser or gift recipient. For office use only. Net weight before cooking. Not affiliated with the Red Cross. Surfaces should be clean of paint, grease, dirt, etc. Drop in any postbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. £2.98/min AE/V/MC. Post office will not deliver without postage. Simulated picture. List was current at time of printing. Penalty for private use. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error, or failure to perform. No foreign coins. Do not puncture or incinerate empty container. See label for sequence. Prices subject to change without notice. Do not write below this line. Time lock safe, staff cannot open. At participating locations only. Serial numbers must be visible. Align parts carefully, then bond. Falling rock zone. Keep out of reach of children. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled cheque is your receipt. Check paper path. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitisedfor your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Penalty for early withdrawal. Sign here without admitting guilt. No solicitors. Slightly higher in some European countries. Storage temperature: -30 C (-22 F) to 40 C (104 F). Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. No purchase necessary. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be in film to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. Extinguish all pilot lights. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated areas. Replace with same type. Accessories sold separately. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Keep away from fire or flame. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Hard hat area. Pre-recorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Adults 18 and over only. Detach and keep for your reference. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. Demo package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call freephone before deciding. Ammunition despatched separately. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Federation Against Software Theft notified. This supersedes all previous notices. Tag not to be removed under penalty of law.
     
  3. Christ Duke,you must be very bored,and suffering from RSI.
     
  4. :clap:

    Superb!


    I remember seeing a kids' movie with the warning in the section that normally says "Contains scenes of mild peril" (or whatever potentially 'harmful' crap is in the film):

    "Contains themes"

    :?

    I should fcuking hope so, otherwise it's a bit of a waste of an hour and a half isn't it?
     
  5. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I saw 'Mama Mia' last night, and waht it should warn about is the danger to courtly gentlemen of a certain age being subjected to scantily dressed and extremely sexy nubile teenage girls flashing their breasts and bare, sun-tanned limbs.

    And they do it on screen too.
     
  6. "Contains scenes of mild peril" :wink:
     
  7. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Of course you can, for a number of reasons, amongst which are, the female will feel good, feel happy and may well feel inclined.
    And, there is any amount of gorgeous totty on display on the film itself. Some of it wet, too.
     
  8. OFH thats brilliant.

    (Goes of to book tickets!)
     
  9. Why yes, or indeed a future one but preferably to separate performances...