Damn fine explanation

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by OKCHU, Sep 17, 2010.

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  1. The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love
    to a very attractive young woman.

    And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me... a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

    And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.'

    'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, 'but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

    And the husband began, 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car...

    I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days...

    So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the bolognese sauce I lovingly made for you last night, the sauce you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured it in moments...

    Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away...

    Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years but don't wear because you say they are too tight...

    I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because according to you, I don't have good taste...

    I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

    The husband took a quick breath and continued, 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said...

    'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'