Damaging women

#1
Having just returned to my castle after visiting a Lady friend I recieved a text message.

It states:

"I can't walk at all. I'm aching... :p"

Now putting aside that I feel like a legend when they say that and I feel the need to share it and lets look at the genuine issue here.

Does she really expect some kind of sympathy? Does she think I care whether she has to use a shop Mobility scooter to get about the house?

Or does she realise that it was my intention to inflict pain as I really don't like her at all but just wanted to empty my spuds and that by telling me this I might be tempted to go and do the same thing again tomorrow rather than next week?

In Short:

Do women know that we're trying to damage them?
Have we been bubbled by some sh1t Girly teen magazine?
Do we need a new plan?
 
#5
She's atleast double figures I'm sure... Think. :s

Twenty Five in all seriousness. Which makes me wonder as she's not quite old enough to be of the Old School that no the score just yet.

Well unless that big bastard outside in the Peach coloured suit was actually her pimp.

I won't be impressed if I have this wrong and she actually wants sympathy. Next she'll want paying. I may steal one of her shoes to make myself feel better next time.
 
#6
I think she's just telling you she enjoyed it.

I think she's paying you a compliment .... and, maybe, asking for more.





And you are just bragging.
 
#8
Closet_Jibber said:
I may steal one of her shoes to make myself feel better next time.
Don't steal it, just shit in it and wipe your cock on the curtains like any self-respecting hetero-tiger. :roll: As for damaging her, next time kidney punch her so she really knows pain.
 
#9
bovvy said:
I think she's just telling you she enjoyed it.

I think she's paying you a compliment .... and, maybe, asking for more.





And you are just bragging.
I know that - I'm a bloke, its what we do. You don't honestly think when he said "I won't tell anyone in work" that he didn't now do you?

The Video will probably already be on You Porn with him saying "Check Out my Christmas Simpson Socks."

However back to the point.

How did they work it out??? As I suspect her evil plan may have worked on a lesser man. (By lesser man I mean non-lazy man)
 
#10
Did you hide her zimmer frame outside and leave in a pool of urine? that will be why she is in pain and cant walk :twisted: You must have pumped her when she was still dry, her muff will be red raw :hump: your a sad sad man I hope you left her pension money alone that would be going just too far :threaten:
 
#11
labrat said:
Is she only unable to walk because she received crush injuries from your fat gut pressing her down into the bed?
I wish - Crush Injuries. Now thats the stuff legends are made of.

Would it count if I made her balance a really heavy fish tank on her chest next time? I'd go for the tele but she has one of these sh1tty flat screens with no weight in them.
 
#12
Shes just telling you your doing your job properly, You know you've really fcuked a bird when she walks funny afterwards, or cant walk at all.
Oh and if you leave her bleeding from the arrse your doing a top notch job!
 
#13
jarrod248 said:
Dashing cnut is that you?
Gimme a break?

I'm not posh and my words aren't big enough.

Plus I'm half the cnut he is.
 
#14
I'd say half... I've met me!
 
#15
Try damaging me.

I bloody dare ya.
 
#17
Closet_Jibber said:
Having just returned to my castle after visiting a Lady friend I recieved a text message.

It states:

"I can't walk at all. I'm aching... :p"
Having read the rest of the posts why did you give here your mobile phone number which lets face it takes time to do.

Do the deed
Have a dhobi
(Get dressed :? )
Find both phones
Remember number
Store number
(Give genuine real own number)

Your answers:
1. Yes most definitely as most arrsers will tell you when you say "I Do"
2. No women have a telepathic network service which can tell the walts from the likes of your good self
3. No as there will always be sprog females on the loose and those that have never served or met a serving or former serving member

(Do female arrsers have the same problem?)
 
#18
No thanks. Not after last time anyway. (I know they say you can't catch it twice but I'd rather not take that chance)

Thanks for the offer though. I'll put that comment in the w@nkbank along with the thought of glassing Kate Moss.
 
#20
Missus is always complaining she cant walk afterwards, usually whilst im trying to wipe my d!ck on her socks without her noticing....