Dai the hill farmer

A hill farmer named Dai was overseeing his stock in a remote mountain valley in Wales when suddenly a brand-new BMW 4x4 advanced out of the nearby wood. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and a YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the old farmer, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?'

Dai looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Sure, why not boyo?"

The yuppie parks his 4x4, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular Bluetooth cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well boyo, I reckon you can take one of my calf's," says Dai.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as he stuffs it into the boot of his car.

Then Dai says, "Look you, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Member of Parliament with the British Government," says Dai.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required boyo," answered the farmer, "you showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are and you don't know a thing about cows ... this is a flock of sheep ... now give me back my Border Collie!"

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