Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by ex-dvr1, Jul 21, 2004.

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  1. supposed true encounter.. :lol: :lol:

    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black
    leather mini skirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very
    buffed. I workout everyday. My measurements are 36-24-36. What
    do you look like?

    Wellhung: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a
    pair of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I'm also
    wearing an old T-shirt, it's got some barbecue sauce stains on
    it and it smells kind of funny.

    Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

    Wellhung: OK

    Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music
    playing on the stereo and candles on my nightstand. I look up
    into your eyes and I'm smiling. My hand works its way down to
    your crotch and I begin to feel your huge swelling bulge.

    Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

    Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are

    Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

    Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it
    softly off.

    Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk
    slides off of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now,
    rubbing and pulling.

    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in
    your blouse. I'm sorry.

    Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too expensive.

    Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

    Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra,
    my soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and

    Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's
    stuck. Do you have scissors?

    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach behind
    my back and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air
    caresses my breasts, my nipples are erect for you.

    Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and
    inspecting the clasp.

    Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel
    your tongue all over me.

    Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know,
    breasts They're neat!

    Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm
    nibbling your ear.

    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit
    and phlegm.

    Sweetheart: WHAT?

    Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

    Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the
    remains of my blouse.

    Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and
    throwing it in the corner of the room.

    Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing
    your hard tool.

    Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

    Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all
    over, in and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.

    Sweetheart: What's the matter?

    Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

    Sweetheart: Are you OK?

    Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

    Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?

    Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking
    for a cup. Where do you keep your cups??

    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!

    Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's better.

    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

    Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

    Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.

    Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the
    cabinet and now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark,
    I'm lost. Where is the bedroom?

    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

    Wellhung: I found it.

    Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.

    Wellhung: Me too.

    Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed
    against each other.

    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

    Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?

    Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my glasses
    on the nightstand.

    Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!

    Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly to the

    Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.

    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around
    for the toilet and lift the lid.

    Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

    Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush

    Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

    Wellhung: I just realized I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I'm
    walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.

    Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

    Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in your umm,
    woman's thing.

    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!

    Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice.
    Ma'am, I'm having a little problem here.

    Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't wait
    another second. Slide it in! Screw me!

    Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

    Sweetheart: WHAT?

    Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

    Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous
    look on my face.

    Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener
    all floppy. I'm looking for my glasses to see what the problem

    Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting on
    my underwear and my wet nasty blouse.

    Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching
    across the dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture
    frames and your candles.

    Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my shoes.

    Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of your candles
    fell on the curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm pointing at it
    a shocked look on my face.

    Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!

    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!

  2. lolol pmsl! So you had a good night on chat then ex? :lol: :lol:
  3. that was funny as fcuk. we want more
  4. flash you know me better than that, it was cpl who gave me that copy :lol:
  5. Couldn't have been me, I'm 6'5". :D

    That was funny as fcuk! Cheers Ex!
  6. was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"

    I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restrooms at a motorway services but, I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doing Just Fine!"

    And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"

    What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh I'm like you, just traveling south!"

    At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.

    "Can I come over to your place after while?"

    Ok, this question is just wacky but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.

    I tell him, "Well, I have company over so today is a bad day for me!"

    Then I hear the guy say nervously...

    "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!"