Cushy Stags

Discussion in 'Old & Bold' started by Speedy, Jul 18, 2011.

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  1. After having a bit of a view of old German haunts on Google Earth I came accross Hannager House (sp?) in Oerlinghausen naer Bielefeld. For those of you who wer not in the know, Hannager House was the residence of the 1(BR) Corps Commander back in the day, and was a place I often had to stag on at. The thing is, this was an easy stag, and by easy I mean really, really easy. You sat in a large caravan in his back garden and watched CCTV screens, did the occasional prowler and opened the gate when required. Best of all, it was 24 hours out of camp and didn't involve any of that messing around that a normal guard did (guard mount, blitzing the guard room before hand over etc), and it got me wondering. Including (some) site guards, what were the duties that you were actually glad to do? The ones that took you away from painting, sweeping and the general monotany of in-camp life.

    *Added at the last moment: I also recall a site guard at a small ammunition depot in a wood on top of a hill near Hameln which involved watching a mountain of porn for a week solid with no visitors whatsoever. That was a pretty nice week off. Hargenhausen was it? Anyway, dammed if I can find that on Google Earth!
     
  2. udipur

    udipur LE Book Reviewer

    The vents at Churchill hall were a jolly nice place to stay warm whilst supposed to be on stag. All terribly naughty but a bunch of novice non-officers wandering around quite aimlessly with no ammunition or comms weren't exactly going to be the forward echelon in a blistering assault on that bastion of tradition...

    Besides, would you trust them to defend you? Ever...?
     
  3. Stagging on at West-Court officers mess, Arborfield. Absolute stagging-on heaven (in comparison).

    It sounds very similar to the Oerlinghuasen stag. The sentry-box comprised of a portacabin with 2 rooms. The usual guardroom beds (for 2) in 1 room, and another room with a desk and a heater. The approach to the portacabin was a mile long straight road, so you could see someone coming, and get jacket/rifle/beret ready for when they got to the gate.

    The scran was brought over on plates from the officers mess too. Easiest stag I've ever had.

    Stagging on the weekend was a breeze, as the place was empty, so you dossed down for 24hrs.
     
  4. One night stag at Lodgehill I (feeling the chill) decided to go in the guard box with the civvy gateguard and watch his TV.
    Half an hour into the stag, feet on the table, tea steaming hot and TV blaring, the door burst open and in flew the Duty Sgt who should have been sound asleep by then. He was ticking, told me to get back on the gate and that the Guard Commander would be hearing about this to make sure I was punished.

    .................Uncomfortable pause.................... {me} " I am the Guard Commander Sarge" [we were good to the Sappers, there weren't many around]

    ................Uncomfortable pause.....................{him} "Well, make sure you suitably punish yourself then!"....... and off he went into the night.

    He was a twat anyway.

    Apart from that, it was a cushy stag.
     
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  5. At 30 Sigs they have a Regimental Open Day on the massive field (the old airfield from when it was an RNAS/RAF camp) behind camp. It's the usual kind of thing, a pikey fun fair turns up and there's a load of stalls where some bored squaddies have to stand round with an FFR and let kids **** their next 1st Line inspection up for them while the Gurkha wives sell quality Nepalese food.

    There's three security sections for the event (a Full Screw and a mix of Lance Jacks and Siggies) who do all the security and general dogsbody stuff around the event - helping with directing civvies in the car parks, stagging on the gates back into camp to stop non-military getting onto camp and the like. As soon as a tent's put up (a few days before), the sections go into a shift pattern stagging on to make sure they don't get nicked by the civvies who start arriving to, basically, have a massive piss up on the back field before doing whatever they do on the day. The duty basically consisted of sitting in a portacabin up by the back gate watching TV, ordering take aways and playing Football Manager on the laptop while sending a couple of lads out of a 'prowler' to wander up and down the back fence to make sure the civvies aren't taking the piss or nicking out of the tents. The most arduous moment came when I had to turn my section out for a photo session with four local beauty queens, a Ridgeback (the truck, not the dog), and some buckets of water and sponges for the local paper.
     
  6. Hagenohsen. East bank of the Weser, just south of Hameln. Compound still visible on GE. Was introduced to the concept of the missing compo sausage there.
     
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  7. Pararegtom

    Pararegtom LE Book Reviewer

    Maybe not as Cushy as above but no hardship, Spandau prison Guard, The Pomp Ceremony and Machiavellian motives of all 4 powers in Berlin at the time 1978. The Guard room and watchtowers where amazing food was good and you only done 2 on 4 off and you got to see No 7 Herr Rudoplh Hess.
     
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  8. Yes Remember it well, was cushy after my Phase 1 as a crunchy at Arborfield, also did the Site guard at the ammo compound late 80's and regular Snelly runs, that hill was a bit of a bitch to get up with ice on the roads but the best for me was stagging on at the Officers mess in Bordon in 1988 when a certain Lt C*****D was there, she was as fit as f*ck and knew it, always got undressed with her curtains open and used to bring blokes back off the piss to shag in her room, hence why we used to patrol round the back of the officers mess a bit more than we should of.
     
  9. Not me on the gate, Kingsley Bks, after a 'do', Mem Sahib in long frock storms away from me
    and out of the Gate, falls straight down a DBP Hole in the road, it was pissing it down and
    try as she might, could she fcuk as get out, tells me where to go and calls for the Wiggly
    Snake on stag to help her out, he takes one look at her, covered in mud from head to toe
    and said "You got in, you get out, yerself, Missis"
    If that Wiggly Snake had helped her out the argument would have been over the next day.
    Three fcuking weeks it lasted, cost me a small fortune, new ensemble/hairdo etc. not to
    mention the cleaning charge for the Kraut Joe Baxi.
     
  10. Cheers, Wow! It's well overgrown now and very hard to see if you don't know it's there.
     
  11. Your cock??
     
  12. I think that was the intention. :)
     
  13. Glocester Block Berlin 1 on,rest off,just sat at a desk with the guard comd.gift of a stag
     
  14. Orderly Sgt at STC Sennelager. Close the NAAFI and then have the choice of some bint from a bar across the road, the duty telephone operator bird or Mary the SSAFA sister. Sweet.

    In the early morning, drift by RE Search Wing and have a gleg at the QUARANC and WRAC volunteers playing paddies wives in the search houses through the two way mirrors.
     
  15. We did a stag at a 'facility' near(ish) Hanover back in the day. IIRC there were about 8 of us and a Cpl. Left to our own devices, middle of nowhere in the beautiful countryside, lovely hot German summer - it was pretty serious stuff we were guarding so you had to be on the ball and there was always another team ready at the nearest main barracks.

    It was brilliant - we did a fresh food run every 2 days and took it in turns cooking and we were lucky that we had a couple of guys that were happy to do some lovely stuff. When you were stood down, you could either go for run round the little villages or sunbathe - did lots of both.

    Was there for two weeks and it was wonderful.

    I don't know where this 'don't volunteer for anything' bollocks come from - yeah, you get the odd shit sandwich sometimes but mostly it was interesting and/or fun.