• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Curry for a sore throat

#1
I've had a sore throat all week, for which I've taken all kinds of pills,powders and potions. None of which worked. So tonight I have eaten 1 x chicken madras and 5 x cans of Stella. The throat isn't hurting but I do seem to be farting a lot.

Anyone else found any other strange cures for ailments? Or am I talking complete bolloc ks!
 
#6
I once had a really painful bladder infection - no, not that kind. Could hardly pee, the tiny trickle that came out felt like molten-glass and razor blades, the works. After two days of excruciating midnight pee-sessions I thought "Sod this, I'm phoning the doctor". But before I could dial, a mate called round and asked if I fancied a pint. Well, of course I did!...

Eight pints of Caffreys later, I stumbled with mounting dread to the bogs and adopted the standing alert position, reciting the infantyman's prayer at the thought of the pain to come (For what we are about to recieve may the Lord make us truly thankful).

A few seconds of agony then a sudden whoosh! and a brief glimpse of something jelly-like streaked with blood as it disappeared down the plug. I was perfectly fine from then on.

The moral of this story: beer is medicine. But then we knew that, already.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#7
smartascarrots said:
I once had a really painful bladder infection - no, not that kind. Could hardly pee, the tiny trickle that came out felt like molten-glass and razor blades, the works. After two days of excruciating midnight pee-sessions I thought "Sod this, I'm phoning the doctor". But before I could dial, a mate called round and asked if I fancied a pint. Well, of course I did!...

Eight pints of Caffreys later, I stumbled with mounting dread to the bogs and adopted the standing alert position, reciting the infantyman's prayer at the thought of the pain to come (For what we are about to recieve may the Lord make us truly thankful).

A few seconds of agony then a sudden whoosh! and a brief glimpse of something jelly-like streaked with blood as it disappeared down the plug. I was perfectly fine from then on.

The moral of this story: beer is medicine. But then we knew that, already.
I'd like to thank you for implanting that vision in my mind this early on a Monday! It has quite put me off my packet of jelly babies that I was looking forward to.
 
#9
not really an illness but when in morrocco, got sh1tfaced and fell asleep in the sun. Woke up with sun burn on my lips, was facking agony, ate some spicey local scoff (harrissa and tuna thing), splashed a bit of sea water on my lips and bading! sunburn gone. 3 days of S&Ds coz of the food but at least no sunburn.
 

Latest Threads