Curing anger management issues

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#1
You are going to take the piss here, and that is fine within fairly well defined perimeters. Thus:

When I say 'my mate' I do actually mean a mate of mine who is moderately in the shit. I do not mean me. If I had anger management issues I would twat some **** and do the time.

Good. We are clear.

Heres the deal.

My mate has been with his bird for ten years. Through thick and thin. The good times and the bad. They are cool and I love them both.

But every now and then he looses the plot and chucks crockery at the wall.

My mate (the bird, and we have only ever been mates. I have no desire to shag her. Nor she, me. Jesus ******* Christ but ARRSE is a hard place to ask for advice)

Where was I?

Ah yes. So, if you had a problem with anger management issues, what would be your first shout?
 

Soggy4978

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
#2
Mate of mine went to his GP and got referred to counselling. Personally, I just **** off to the pub when I get angry and don't come back until I'm too drunk to see, let alone throw things.
 
#3
You are going to take the piss here, and that is fine within fairly well defined perimeters. Thus:

When I say 'my mate' I do actually mean a mate of mine who is moderately in the shit. I do not mean me. If I had anger management issues I would twat some **** and do the time.

Good. We are clear.

Heres the deal.

My mate has been with his bird for ten years. Through thick and thin. The good times and the bad. They are cool and I love them both.

But every now and then he looses the plot and chucks crockery at the wall.

My mate (the bird, and we have only ever been mates. I have no desire to shag her. Nor she, me. Jesus ******* Christ but ARRSE is a hard place to ask for advice)

Where was I?

Ah yes. So, if you had a problem with anger management issues, what would be your first shout?
Gay Walt!

You have to first get the angry party to admit they have a problem and then they should go to anger management counselling.

Or start drinking heavily.
 
#4
Sounds like he is managing it - by chucking stuff at the wall.

As long as he doesn't chuck it at her, then there shouldn't be a problem.

And if it's left to him to clean up the mess AFTER he's calmed down, and then to take himself off on a shopping trip to buy replacements then it should slowly get through to him that he's being a prat.
 
#5
Go out for a long walk, the Shed is another favourite or just bugger off up the allotment
 
#7
Cheaper crockery is the way forward.

I would also re-enforce one wall with padding to act as a butt-stop - possibly decorated with a giant picture of Gordon Brown's face, overliad with scoring rings.

Win/Win!
 
#8
Paper / plastic plates and plastic drinking things. (I was going to type plastic glasses but how do you get plastic glasses? I mean glass is glass and plastic is plastic.) This thread will throw up more questions than answers.
 
#11
Like was mentioned before, pissing off to the shed is a good cure. But so is breaking crockery. Put them together and you have the solution.

[video=youtube;6URaxHgcAgM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6URaxHgcAgM[/video]
 
#12
Dont thank me

Anger management is for touchy-feely-leftie gayers. He should chuck some of them about. The effect will probably cheer him up.
 
#13
Ah yes. So, if you had a problem with anger management issues, what would be your first shout?
GNAAAAR-AR-AR...

More seriously, it depends what the cause of the anger is: something in the immediate, or something more deep-rooted from the past. I've mentioned on another thread a good mate who when he got into a scrap would just snap, do awful damage and not remember a thing after. The root was being beaten as a child, but it took professional help to get to that as it was so locked in he had no memory of it.

Putting his coat on and going for a walk (we're back to your mate now) isn't as daft an option as it might sound. However, although it gets him away from the immediate situation it doesn't solve things long-term.

I don't think counselling has either the stigma or the 'wetness' that it was perceived to have by previous generations. Even if there is no 'history' driving his behaviour, your mate could come away with some coping mechanisms.

There are NHS options but they're limited. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (Google them) can help with people to go and see in your/his local area.

Of course, he could just buy tin plates...
 
#14
I cured my anger mangement issues by telling the *cough*individual*cough* who told me to count to ten and imagine puppies and rainbows to go *cough*fudge*cough* his own face. Now I just have anger issues. Hope this helps.

Edit: Whoops, not the NAAFI. Titty-biscuits.
 
#15
A damn good gym workout either CV or weights

Or

Take up disciplined contact sport which is helpful, not suited to everyone but 'controlling it' is the first step.

Besides I agree with Macber, at least it's not directly at her, I know people who punch doors & walls rather than the china plates.
 
#17
it all could lead to domestic violence.

The typical presentation (in this sequence) :
build up
violence
honeymood period

Its crockery at the moment, but what's stopping the chap putting on his wife beater singlet, downing some stella and getting fisty further down the line.

You dont mention any triggers. Or how long its been going on? What does his good lady think about it all?
alcohol? drugs? Is he just a short tempered wotsit?

Does he have a mental illness or getting one? Family history?

I agree coping mechanisms and counselling via the quack in the first order i guess
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#18
I ******* hate you all.

And I hate you more than Mummy. I am so not a gay Walt, yah? ****.

I've mentioned on another thread a good mate who when he got into a scrap would just snap, do awful damage and not remember a thing after. The root was being beaten as a child,
That is part of the problem. My mate (the bird) says his Dad used to chuck things around and shout.

My mate says she wants to take him to the GP and ask about anger management counselling. I like her bloke, but if anyone wheeled me into a doctor and asked me to chat, I would nut somebody. Probably the doctor. And that would be wrong.

Just wonder if anybody has had a mate with this problem and somebody has cured it?

I would give the tit a slap myself, but me and his bird are mates from way back so he is suspicious of me.

Jesus ******* Christ. Wouldn't it be nice if life was not a ******* hassle?
 
#19
To be honest Dukey, I would stay well out of it. If it all goes tits up, you will be a convenient scape goat. Best you can do is just be quietly supportive and advise without getting involved.
 
#20
In my experience it comes down to a propensity for violence and a nasty temper more often than any psychological issues. I knew someone whose response to almost any negative experience was to beat the living shit out of his wife (who really didn't deserve it, I ******* hate seeing a pretty girl with bruises all over her face). Nasty business that was only resolved when he got sent down for something completely unrelated. Does your friend ever get violent with other people or is it just the crockery for now?
 

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