Curbing Squadie Humour when your a Civi

#1
Do any other ex-squadies find that their sense of homour is not appreciated by people with no Army experience? Like last night for instance, I was talking about the christmas piss up I am arranging for one of the clubs I am a member of at uni (St John Ambulance). I said "after the meal we can all go down town, and get wankered... roll mats are optional". And only one person laughed, the rest just looked down at the table as if I had said something really bad...

Has anyone else found that Army humour, when no longer in the Army, is not appreciated?
 
#2
God you're so funny.....I can't stop laughing.....you are the funniest person I have ever come across.

Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.
 
#3
well cheers mate, as I am bored I though I would start a thread to read whilst to read whilst I whittle away my hours tonight. But I'm glad you found it so funny.

And all you have done by replying is encourage more crap post's from me!
 
#4
No St johns triangliur bandage appliers are in the slightest bit funny

Don't you have better things to do with your time like Trisha and drugs

toodlepip
Thegimp
 
#5
I thought that my self actually. I miss the medic side of things from when I was in, and I thought I would hep out the SJA here, to carry on with the medic side (as well as get expericence to apply for Private certification). But I do have doubts about some of the other members feelings of self-importance.
 
#6
You run into it everwhere civvies do not, cannot and will not see the funny side of forces humour - they can see nothing funny about moose hunting, playing freckles, dropping your trousers or - heaven forbid - stripping in public - they cannot understand that being insulted/maligned/sworn at can be funny and just caos you call some on a cnut, knbo or a fukcwit that you are being offensive - soory pal youre fighting a lost cause.
 
#7
What about the TA, is the their humour the same? As that is the one thing I miss, I am glad I left, as I'm improving myself (I expect incoming for that one!). But I just miss the laughs, even after just a couple of months...
 
#8
Unless you still in there is nowhere that can match squaddei humour. I am in a service now that should be fun but is full or expressionless people shit scared of saying anything for rear of being called racist, agist, male chauvinist, homophobic, etc etc. Welcome to the other world.
 
#9
lol - sounds like me yesterday...


lass at work in my way (nice young slim thing) bending over getting someting from filing cabinet, arrse sticking right out

says me "would you stop pointing that thing in my direction" with a smile.

says her "sorry, I cant help it" with a cheeky little giggle

says me "is that 'cause its so big..."

SILENCE from the assorted girls in the office, tumbleweeds blowing down the aisle, six pairs of eyes boring into me like .50cal AP rounds, every synapse in my brain screaming COVER - the only other lad in the office looking at me as if to say "you're on your own mate"

for christs sake, you'd have thought I'd pulled my cock out and started cracking one off - lesson for life, even if the've got a lovely pert little backside, they still cannot take a sarcastic comment about it!
 
#10
That is pretty funny. I've done it a few times, but normally my flatmates just laugh. My mates from before I joined up get my humour as well, but then the've known me from when I joined, to when I left eight years later.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#11
amazing__lobster said:
Has anyone else found that Army humour, when no longer in the Army, is not appreciated?
God you're so funny.....I can't stop laughing.....you are the funniest person I have ever come across.

Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha ha ha ha ha.
Proof of the pudding Lobster. I take it Bigdick, as well as living up to his name, is now as red as a lobster.
 

maninblack

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
I have spent 6 months educating our engineering department, ably assisted by an ex-crab and an ex-rock and a strange man who makes balloons and now loiters on arrse in his spare time. They can now be heard referring to;

"grinning like a w@nking Jap" "As much use as t1ts on a fish" and referrences to "bum love", "kicking back doors in"," hoop" and "council gritter."

The humour can spread if you work hard.
 
#13
labrat said:
lol - sounds like me yesterday...


lass at work in my way (nice young slim thing) bending over getting someting from filing cabinet, arrse sticking right out

says me "would you stop pointing that thing in my direction" with a smile.

says her "sorry, I cant help it" with a cheeky little giggle

says me "is that 'cause its so big..."

SILENCE from the assorted girls in the office, tumbleweeds blowing down the aisle, six pairs of eyes boring into me like .50cal AP rounds, every synapse in my brain screaming COVER - the only other lad in the office looking at me as if to say "you're on your own mate"

for christs sake, you'd have thought I'd pulled my c*** out and started cracking one off - lesson for life, even if the've got a lovely pert little backside, they still cannot take a sarcastic comment about it!
No nookie in the supply closet for you, then!
 
#14
I remain to be convinced that it is a soft skill that can be applied to civvie life.

A few of my mates for example are going on a charity fun run at the weekend with one dressed as a surgeon, one as a schoolgirl and a bunch in speedos with roll mats on their arms.

Everyone see the sop to the civvies?

Alas I am busy.
 
#15
I think they're called 'NAAFI Moments'

As in, you're in a group, everybody is having a laugh, you forget where you are and say something that would be funny in the Naafi, or in chat, or etc...

Cue dead silence.

Example:
Joking with family about the Mac sound effect for when you delete something (Yes, we were talking about that, it makes a change from arguing) The sound is like a paper being scrunched up and tossed into a metal bin.

After we wondered how much the person who was throwing was being paid, and if he got bored, I suggested getting a mong and feeding him ice cream.

Cue Dead Silence.


And we went straight back to arguing, its safer.

I'm not a squaddie, my only exposure to squaddie humour has been this site. Should have a bleedin health warning;

"Arrse is bad for harmonious family dinners"
 
#16
Just like you would not swear in front of your kids or say the F word in front of your mum, part of being a member of HM Forces is about having decorum - de·co·rum
n.
1. Appropriateness of behavior or conduct; propriety: "In the Ireland of the 1940's ... the stolidity of a long, empty, grave face was thought to be the height of decorum and profundity" John McGahern.
2. decorums The conventions or requirements of polite behavior: the formalities and decorums of a military funeral.
3. The appropriateness of an element of an artistic or literary work, such as style or tone, to its particular circumstance or to the composition as a whole.
 
#18
Found it hard at times but our office is 4 blokes, of which 2 of us are ex sigs... we have educated the other two!

and yes, its a skill that deserves to be passed on.

Rincewind
 
#19
I have sort of passed it to one of my flat mates. we was watching a video in a lecture, showing a women with a neurological disorder who was unable to keep her hand from moving.

Lobster "I bet she's good with a Yo-Yo"

My mate Alex, whilst trying not to laugh, but smiling "you are sick and I can't believe you just said that in front of everyone"

Everyone being 400 people
 
F

fozzy

Guest
#20
amazing__lobster said:
What about the TA, is the their humour the same? As that is the one thing I miss, I am glad I left, as I'm improving myself (I expect incoming for that one!). But I just miss the laughs, even after just a couple of months...
One of the reasons I joined the Tiny Army was because I missed the banter. Modern corporate life is just so fucking DULL.

In a meeting that became deadlocked, my suggestion to the chairman "that a big fight in the carpark would sort the issue out" fell on stony ground. That one led to interviews without coffee with my bosses about "inapproriate humour" in the work place- but fuck em.
 

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