Culled posts from NTWICA1

#1
Went out 2 weeks ago with my civvy mates. Was acting all mature and everyone was saying how much I'd grown up, blah de blah. After half an hour my army mate walks in the pub, I knew I was going home to sirens as soon as he saw me and got me a triple JD 'n' coke.

Knocked it back. Gets me another triple.
Knock it back. Another triple.

This when on, next thing I remember is waking up in a cell.

Apparently this went on for about an hour until I was swinging at lamposts, threw my phone and camera smashing them, my mate asked me to talk to my granddad on his phone and I bit it f*cking the screen up, ending up in the middle of a road asleep. Paramedics wake up me, I attempt to swing at them miserably while laying on my back and swearing at them like a psycho. Police come to take me home, give them abuse. Got nicked. Haven't heard from the civvy mates since.

F*ck knows how I got away with D&D and only 3 days guard!
 
#3
Not sure if swinging from the floor counts as a punch, but if you've never done it before you're either not a squadie or have no mates and never go out!
 

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#5
No, I still think you're a dick.


Edited to add: Not you 5A.
 
#6
FiveAlpha said:
You drank heavily, swung some punches. Congratulations. Like I said, you could be any one of a million fcuking chavs.
FiveAlpha I'm worried. Are you unwell or something? I'd have expected a line like:

FiveAlpha said:
I would've picked you up, spread your cheeks & given you a good dry bumming as only in a drunken state would you have been loose enough to take my magnificent ebony member, which even in its flaccid state resembles Arnie's forearm clutching a basketball...
 
#7
Kingxex said:
Went out 2 weeks ago with my civvy mates. Was acting all mature and everyone was saying how much I'd grown up, blah de blah. After half an hour my army mate walks in the pub, I knew I was going home to sirens as soon as he saw me and got me a triple JD 'n' coke.

Knocked it back. Gets me another triple.
Knock it back. Another triple.

This when on, next thing I remember is waking up in a cell.

Apparently this went on for about an hour until I was swinging at lamposts, threw my phone and camera smashing them, my mate asked me to talk to my granddad on his phone and I bit it f*cking the screen up, ending up in the middle of a road asleep. Paramedics wake up me, I attempt to swing at them miserably while laying on my back and swearing at them like a psycho. Police come to take me home, give them abuse. Got nicked. Haven't heard from the civvy mates since.

F*ck knows how I got away with D&D and only 3 days guard!
You sir are a complete throbber!!

Keep on doing stuff like this and you wont have that shiny new tape for long!
 
#8
Give it a rest :)

It's not like I was a threat, I just swore and threw punches WHILE LAYING ON THE GROUND. Seriously, if I hadn't been man enough to tell my CSM straight, he probably never would have found out. Such a minor offence, and as this is a thread for 'fessin up to failing to behave like proper people, what were you expecting?

Jog on and try not to get too tipsy on them shandys :D
 
#9
Kingxex said:
Went out 2 weeks ago with my civvy mates. Was acting all mature and everyone was saying how much I'd grown up, blah de blah. After half an hour my army mate walks in the pub, I knew I was going home to sirens as soon as he saw me and got me a triple JD 'n' coke.

Knocked it back. Gets me another triple.
Knock it back. Another triple.

This when on, next thing I remember is waking up in a cell.

Apparently this went on for about an hour until I was swinging at lamposts, threw my phone and camera smashing them, my mate asked me to talk to my granddad on his phone and I bit it f*cking the screen up, ending up in the middle of a road asleep. Paramedics wake up me, I attempt to swing at them miserably while laying on my back and swearing at them like a psycho. Police come to take me home, give them abuse. Got nicked. Haven't heard from the civvy mates since.

F*ck knows how I got away with D&D and only 3 days guard!
My bold. Shouldn't that be swinging from lamp posts?
 
#12
Best thread I have read, I can't compete with these, but when i have finished laughing will try to give a Walt I know a mention here!
 

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