Culinary Crimes Against Cadets

Discussion in 'ACF' started by Fiji_Bob, Jun 12, 2007.

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  1. Mrs FB captured the remote to the TV last night and I was surprisingly amused to see the episode of Celeb Master Chef that was held at a Cadet Training Centre that I know quite well. :? anyone else see the episode?

    My amusement came not from the antics of the cadets or contestants (the cadets seemed to fair very well in the portrayal :thumright: )

    My amusement was that Master Chef should be held at this site at all, a notorious location and scene of many a heinous "Light Lunch" and "continental breakfast" :wink:

    A site where the chip fat in the deep pan fryer had been left on occasion so long a whole ecosystem had grown up around the scum floating on top :omg:

    Also a site where the kitchen equipment would include a chisel, needed to pry the cups and saucers off their grease embossed location in the cupboards :omg:

    A place where humans felt as interlopers, to the usual multi-legged inhabitants of the festering kitchens (and i don't just mean the slop jockeys). :omg:

    But there was something sadly missing from this TV experience and it was not the usual Spanish inquisition, complete with torture, to discover the guilty cadet who had emptied non food waste in the slop bucket (hence depriving the poor "underpaid" cook staff of another means of profit) :sleepy:

    It was also not the missing usual motto of " if its smoking its cooking, if its burnt its ready" :wink:

    No it was the absence of the scaly-back perm staff, (estate car rear axle scraping the road under the load of " unused so a shame to waste it" rations) exiting the location early after feeding the starving and paying cadets on cold ham, rock hard bread rolls and runny fried eggs. :pissedoff:

    Oh the irony. :plotting:
  2. As a member of the "Small Thieves with Large Berets" Bde many years ago at Proteus camp, I remember queueing for scran by the hot plate whilst the main course was being replenned.

    There was a shriek ahead of me in the queue and an SI legged it in, picked up a cadet and legged it off toward the MRS. The idiot had nipped behind the hot plate to grab a handful of chips. The chips, however, were still in the deep fat fryer at the time.

    After a couple of minutes, the excitement had died down and the fat civvy chef picked up the chip pan, let the fat drain off and then served them.

    And we ate them. Without a second thought. Even our token veggy cadet.
  3. Proteus camp....lots of nice "miners wives"...on a Saturday Night!!!...shhhhhhhhh
  4. I remember when is was in Merseyside ACF going back a bit now and was at a weekend camp in Altcar. For some reason or another I minced round to the side of the ACF centre and saw a number of the employed egg friers loading a car full of rations, I particuarly remember seeing trays of eggs and lots and lots of four pint cartons of milk. On seeing me however, the fat fcukers looked like they they were going to have a heart attack and told me to "Fcuk off now!". Up until then I always wondered why the milk for the cereal tasted awful, probably due to the fact that it was 90% water.
  5. Mate, check out my bold.

    I was 13 odd at the time.
  6. we had a ration assasin selling food to the pub down the road a few years back!!

    luckily it was food from the kids scofhouse and not the mess :D
  7. any slop jockey doing that should be sacked.....endex
  8. Don't be naive. These days he'd get an MOD contract. :x

    Sodhexo, anyone? 8O
  9. I have three favourite memories of catering from my early days, in no particular order:

    I think it was a/c at Sennybridge where the baked beans doubled as an ashtray for the catering crew who lit up behind the hot plate, if memory serves me right the civvy crew lasted about 4 days before the TA were drafted in, fantastic! :p

    Wretham the year the catering contractors consisted entirely of half-way housers from Newcastle who were bussed in especially, particularly entertaing were the two who did £5k worth of damage to the WO/Sgts mess, were thrown out of camp only to break in again and wreck a toilet block. :twisted:

    And finally the a/c at Westdown where the cadets strolled up for breakfast one morning only to find the entire catering crew had been arrested for being illegal immigrants, it wouldn't be so bad but we had been there a week and we were doing a good trade in selling them rat packs that we hadn't eaten on exercise. :wink:
    Happy memories.

    Just goes to show, pay peanuts expect monkeys.
  10. mmm probably right, they are a law unto themselves, who the hell thought the name "Sodhexo" anyway