"Cu-nt still owes me a tenner"

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by convoy_cock, Aug 17, 2009.

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  1. One of the great attributes of the common British Tommy is the ability to use the above phrase with a complete disregard for time passed or the sensitivities of the situation. Whenever soldiers are gathered and there is mention of the passing of another comrade, someone will always say, ‘The cu-nt still owes me a tenner’ I have a mental note of every cu-nt that still owes me a tenner from my time in, just so that I can blurt it out if someone tells me at the Army and Navy that they got hit by a bus or copped for the big C.
    Of course it doesn’t even have to be as much as a tenner. At a funeral for one of the lads who’d died long before his time (Lymphatic cancer), one of the lads read out a beautiful eulogy. It went on a bit but took in Bill’s colourful career in the colours and made everyone laugh. At the end, he finished with.
    “Of course, it goes without saying, that we’ll all miss his sense of humour and cheerfulness in adversity. But Bill’s death leaves me bereft not only for those reasons, because it has to said that the c-unt still owes me for a tin of Parade Gloss and a yellow duster from a bullnight in basic”
    Even the vicar was moved to add ‘What a cu-nt” before blessing the coffin.
    Are any other NAAFI members owed tiny amounts of money or goods, that for some reason, they still hope to recoup before the cu-nt dies?”
     
  2. I avidly scan the obituaries column of the Times, looking for the name of an old CO, just so I can voice “of course, the cυnt still owes me 21 days...”
     
  3. Thieving basta*d I seved with used to nick my orange squash and top it up with water!
     
  4. You believed him when he told you it was water .........!!??
     
  5. I took the OC's wellbeck photo to a frame shop to have the glass fitted and he said if i paid out of my pocket and bring the receipt he'll cough up the cash.

    C-unt still owes me a tenner.
     
  6. Hey VG that could be any of a huge number of Fcukwits it being Arborfield and all. Undoubtedly many who have passed through those hallowed gates have been fondly known as Terry Fcukwit.

    My response to finding out that one of my mates had met his maker was to reply to the soon to be awestruck informer "Cnut still owes me for a CBT95 shirt from Uhlan Eagle" - May he rest in peace.
     
  7. I met up with my bestest bezzer from basic while attached to his unit for a Medman once. His watch had broken so I loaned him mine so he knew when to knock off stag. He promised solemnly to have it back for stand to next morning but, courtesy of a crash-move in the wee-smalls, duly fucked off to the far side of BATUS with it. Never saw it again, the cunt.

    It was only a ten quid Casio, but there's a principle at stake. When he dies I'm having his off the corpse at his viewing.
     
  8. There is a certain ex WO2 wandering around darkest Doncaster who owes me a full set of cartoons from the IFOR tour.

    I will be raiding his attic during the wake if I get the chance.
     
  9. Famous painter Ford Madox-Brown did a short stint in the TA in the late nineteenth century. He was quickly identified by all the blokes who lived in the block as a complete soft touch and he was regularly relieved of all his dosh within a week of pay parade with laughable promises from blokes who'd say stuff like, 'Yeah mate you'll get it back as soon as food and accom comes in from Isandlhwana'

    Madox-Brown harboured much resentment at this treatment but was too much of a wet lettuce to strong arm his oppos. He chose to commission the painting 'Soldiers of the Queen' Only Madox-Brown knew that if you got a Brillo pad on to the title block, it's real name would be revealed as

    "ALL THE CU-NTS WOT OWES ME A TENNER"

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Too the twat who was supossed to bring me my boogy box + albums to a mutualy........ fuck this!


    where is my 'Snap' Album by the Jam, you cunt. Corps RSM or not, you owe me Mac!
     
  11. Yes... there was this here Corporal way back in the 1964s something, when I was stationed in Germany (BAOR). I was a 'wet behind the ears' 19 year old Siggie...... this Ku-nt borrowed 10 DMarks off me one Sunday evening so he could go to the NAFFI Bar for a few Jars.... When I reminded him of it a week later on Pay Day....

    the Ku-nt faking denied it!! Apparently I was soon quick to learn he did this all the Newbie's posted into the Troop. Far-king bleddy F-F-Far-kwit..

    The Geezer was a Pissheid. When he got pissed he used dribbledown his chin like a 90 years old geriatric..... I somewhat became like that when I too become a Corporal... except that I didn't ponce of junior soldiers........

    I reckon he must have drunk enuff booze to float the 'Titanic'.... he probably is still conning money off the little Newbie devils down below as he's shuffling shite...

    ... and I can still remember all this more than 40 years later.... it must mean that I have sobered up now...!!! :p :p
     
  12. A certain L/Cpl Cnut still owes me a tenner for the 7.62 round I sold him in Belfast prior to counting "twenty in the hat". Not my fault he lost one is it ?


    Which leads me to another question. Was it just ONE round that went missing at the start of Op Banner and went on to be sold eighty thousand times or were there ammo belts of ball being passed around. ??
     
  13. About three days from the end of an 18 month tour in NI we all went to the ranges. Seemed a bit odd. But the ammo issued was the same batch as the operational which was of course the first thing every soldier looked at as soon as he was issued a live round. Consequently all the lads made up their diffys and unaccounted for shootings and no one was any the wiser. We had a perfect handever as usual.
     
  14. Hot-Muff you cunt - you owe me a doner kebab flavoured Pot Noodle.
     
  15. Now that 4GS Regt RLC has become 4LSR so technically the regt has died.........


    75 Sqn still owes me my leaving statue...... cunts! :D

    Wasn't my fault they were all off on SFOR fun when I left