Warning! Newbie alert! Apologies if already posted or already heard. Private Jones' mother has a severe heart attack and passes away while he is on base. The CO was informed and he advises the CSM that it would be his grim duty to inform Jones. The CSM say's 'No problem Sar!', about turns, smartly marches out the door and convenes an immediate parade. 'Private Jones!' he bellows, 'One step forward!' Jones jumps his one pace forward as if hit in the rear with a cattle prod and snaps to attention. 'Jones!', bellows the CSM, 'Your mother is dead!' After a second or two of shock, Jones faints dead away from hearing the terrible news. After Jones is attended to, the CO says to the CSM that he should really break such news to the troops with a little more sensitivity. The CSM in agreement replies that he will be more delicate in future circumstances. About a month later Private Smith's father is tragically killed in a car smash, and once again it is left to the CSM to inform Smith of the dire news. 'Remember what happened last time Sar Major...' reminded the CO. 'No problem Sar!', and off the CSM quick marched to once again get the ranks on the parade ground to deliver the terrible news. After the right dress and troops are rigidly at attention, the CSM roars, 'All those with fathers take one step forward!' then adds, 'Not so fast Smith!' Actually told to me by our CSM circa 1982.