CSA...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TOPTHIRD, Jul 6, 2005.

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  1. YES Its a cut and paste job but i p1ssed myself reading it.
    The following are all replies that women have put on Child

    Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details.

    >1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was

    >fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of

    >child B, butI believe that he was conceived on the same night.


    > 2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was

    >being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can

    >provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party

    >if this helps.

    >3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was

    >conceived at a party at 36 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex

    >with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good

    >that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send

    >me his phone number? Thanks.

    > 4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives

    >a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.

    >Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if

    >he's had it replaced.

    > 5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the

    >Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is

    >Christ risen again.

    > 6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that

    >to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic

    >implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

    > 7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look
    the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

    8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can
    you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

    9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at
    EuroDisney; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

    >10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember
    for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at
    146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

    > 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans, you can't be sure which one made you fart
     
  2. my mum had exactly the same dilemma! she was sure that i was the milkmans until she realised i was the spitting image of the postie!

    so she told them both that i was their cute baby daughter and claimed CSA from them both!

    to this day im not sure but i always have ice cold milk on my cornflakes and my mail is on time!

    thanks mummy xx