Crude poems

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bushmills, Sep 30, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Here I sit, broken hearted.
    I tried to shit, but only farted.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Poet Laureate walt...
  3. Thank God For the White Man - By Baron Whites.

    • Like Like x 1
  4. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Yeah, I have something of a reputation as a poet. I have only published one slim volume but it was very well received. Here is an extract....

    De Dah De Dah De Dah De Dah,
    De Dah De Dah De Dah,
    De Dah De Dah De Dah De Dah,
    De Dah De Dah De Dah,
    And up your fucking arse.

    There are more verses but I wont bore you.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. booomb booomb booomb
  6. Roses are red

    Violets are blue

    At least thats what they tell me as I am blind.
    • Like Like x 2
  7. i out you as baldrick!
  8. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Im going to fuck you with a rake!
  9. Roses are red,
    Violets are blue.
    I'm schizophrenic,
    And so am I.
  10. I heard one from an RAAF bloke in the late 70s. All I can now remember (as I was inebriated at the time) was the opening line which went - "A bunch of the boys were beating it up at the Malibu Saloon". Can anyone help?

    I do remember this one though -
    "His head was bare. His matted hair
    Laid half-buried in the sand.
    When in the far-off distance
    He spied his native land.
    Australia! You fuckin' beaut!
    So - up the old red rooster
    And sink more p1ss!"
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Google Robert Service a Canadian (of Scottish ancestry).
  12. Charlie Charlie Chuck Chuck had three ducks.