Crude Jokes

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by scousegit, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
    A. Goes in tight!

    Q. Why don't little girls fart?
    A. Because they don't get arseholes until they're married.

    Q. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
    A. He decided to stick it out for one more year!

    Q. Barking dog at the back door wanting in, your wife is yelling at the front door to be let in. Which do you let in?
    A. A the dog, because when he is in he shuts up!

    Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
    A. Marry her.

    Q. How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
    A. Give it a nipple.

    Q. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
    A. Fur traders.

    Q. What does parsley and pubic hair have in common?
    A. You push it aside and keep eating.

    Q. What's the difference between Oral Sex and Anal Sex?
    A. Oral sex makes your day, Anal sex makes your hole weak!

    Q. Why do women have 2% more brains than a cow?
    A. So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.

    Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
    A. After five years your job will still suck.

    Q. What's the difference between a woman and a fridge?
    A. A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.

    Q. How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
    A. None, it should be open when she brings it to you.

    SG :twisted: 8)