Crossing the divide

I'm an ex tom of 12 years and have recently met and fallen for a really nice lady. Problem is, shes a serving Naval officer and pretty career minded as well. I've just been invited to a mess function and the thought terrifies me - I've waited at the ******* things and I've done all the stuff we all used to get up to including ******* the drinks of obnoxious guests!!

Can our worlds ever be compatible given the total differecne in our backgrounds? I dont want to lose her but part of me is quite intimidated which, for an ex reg tom is not really the done thing.

Confused of Chorley.......

Thanks for any serious advice in advance.
Don't be intimidated by the Andrew, they're surprisingly human. Just wear your best suit, remember that port leads and is passed to the left, and don't perform your dance of the flaming ********* unless you're invited to by the Pres.
Why would the press want me to do a Zulu Warrior?????? Especially since i was recently deported from South Africa during the World Cup for blowing on a zulus vulva

You're an ex tom and therefore should not be intimidated by the rum lash and sodomy lot. They are just human so go, enjoy and try to behave until they get boisterous then show them how its really done! Best of luck.
I've been to Navy boardrooms on four occasions (once as a Tom - long story) and found them to be excellent hosts. They were always interested in the Army side of things and did not appear at all condescending. Go for it (and try to ignore the fact that your food and drink might have a few 'special ingredients') and you might find you really enjoy it.
Go and enjoy, it will be a brilliant night and when you get back you will wonder what you were worried about, oh and remember to be nice to those serving.
Go and have a good time....orificers are only human (so i've been told)....dont stand for the Royal Toast .......

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