Crofts original or Barley Cream? anyone for Sherry?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Lost-Jock, Oct 5, 2007.

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  1. From the LA Times-

    Charges dropped in enema death. Charges have been dropped against a woman who was accused of giving her husband a sherry enema that killed him, the prosecutor in the case said

    Tammy Jean Warner had been scheduled to face trial for negligent homicide in the May 2004 death of Michael Warner, 58, but Brazoria County Dist. Atty. Jeri Yenne said the charges were dismissed for lack of evidence.

    The dead man had had "a severe alcohol issue" and it was not clear his wife had committed a crime, Yenne said.


    1. How much will she now claim in her lawsuit because there was no warning label covering the potential hazards of pumping sherry
    up the ricker?

    2. How long until we see warnings on Sherry bottles covering said hazards?

    3. Today I learned why sherry is still made. I think I will file a lawsuit myself as I will never again be able to stand behind some old dear in the checkout line who is buying the stuff without the most godawful images coming to mind!

    4. Alcohol issues? FFS! I have alcohol issues but thank the dear god they are at the other end of the spectrum so to speak!
  2. From the taste of the stuff, you wouldn't know whether it'd been pumped up or been cycled through.

    Of course, thats only if you enjoy licking sherry off geriatric ringpieces at weekends.
  3. Quite.

    The elixir should be taken from the top down, a bit like FIBUA, and certainly not from the bottom up.

    I imagine poor Mr Warner's death was as much to do with the poor quality of the Iberian fortified wine, as it was to do with the fact that he had a noxious substance pumped up his shute.

    Good sherry ain't half bad. Some of the good quality dry Jervez, chilled, is very more-ish, and a nicely aged medium, served at room temperature, is a great way to warm you up before walking to the pub.

    Mr Warner probably had a cheap-skate common law wife. Tammy Jean no doubt bought a product in a discount store called "Old British Corvette" or somesuch, with, to a Spam, a perfectly believable load of old bollocks on the back label, about, how, since the time of the Armada, the British merchant fleet had been ploughing the fertile sands of the Shahara to bring you, in Des Moines, an authentic taste of the past.

    Mr Warner...what a way to go.
  4. LondonIrish, as you are obviously a man of discerning pallet can I interest you in a case of 7-11's finest "Old Glenscrotum Finest Scotch"? Or how about a bottle or two of "Rusty Sporran"?
  5. Would you like to come over one Saturday?

    Afternoons are best, but you must leave before six, as I run an hotel in Bournemouth, and I imagine you'll want to leave me panting for more and go down the pub with your mates.
  6. My my, do they still sell the stuff?

    And 7-11.... we haven't had that emporium in the capital for a while now.

    Tell me you aren't joking...Rusty Sporran is my fave tipple, and slides down a treat with donner kebab sans salad.
  7. Oddly enough, I was discussing the merits of 'coffee enemas' with Mrs Felize t'uther day. Quite what those merits are has yet to be defined, though it must stain one's gusset terribly. I think the usage of sherry is misguided - and a waste. The lady in question should have considered Diamond White instead. Sherry's too good for 'em colonials.
  8. Diamond White is a most interesting, not to say, inspired choice.

    Less ABV%, and so avoiding an untimely death, but still enough to give one the required buzz, and a no doubt rather delicious sensation due to the little bubbles.

    And afterwards, you would feel, well, clean
  9. Diamond white? wouldnt the fizz lead to ... well accidents? (and no not accientds down a well)
  10. Couldn't resist!

    LondonIrish, you have a PM.
  11. Nasty old stuff, sherry, as Mr Warner found out. I've always said you shouldn't trifle with it.
  12. You have obviously sampled the Regimental Whisky of 71 (Scottish) Engineer Regiment (Volunteers) as produced by the "Speyside Distilling Company" :twisted:
  14. Clan MacGregor Blended Scotch Whiskey, made in Glasgow. If Lost_Jock is wandering the booze aisle in a California drugstore he may well have come across this tasty blend (in gallon jugs with handles for easy pouring).

    The Tankie saw this and wondered if fag ends and urine add something to the flavor that oak doesn't.
  15. Alcohol issues? I intend to have a severe word with the QM on Monday. Neither me or any of my lads have seen any of these, the barsteward is obviously keeping it for him and the G4 wallahs.