Crocked for a year !!

#1
Picked up a blinding blood parasite somewhere on my travels in the past year and its battered my liver resulting in spending the last week touch and go in a high dependancy unit, out now but with strict instructions banning (A) alcohol, nights out (B) excessive phys (C) exotic travel for the foreseeable future (D) sexual contact until told otherwise and (E) stress or overworking !!

So I am on the 'Pat and Mick' for 2 months, then back to work on 27 hours a week by agreement, so until they have identified and controlled whatever the problem is the next year is looking pretty shabby.

My ritualistic w*nk this morning was hard work, a long laborious struggle which resulted in a slight fissure up the back of left leg, a cloudy head and the expulsion of a pitiful amount of blood tainted smegma, hardly worth the bandwith. So thats out until futher notice !!

The boys have come good, am now in possesion of a lethal air rifle for the back field, a pile of PS3 games and pirate DVD's, a kings ransom in farm diesel so I can scoot about with minimal cost and the keys to a caravan in Monmouthshire.

Any ideas for hobbies ?? College course ?? Any good cookery courses ?? Secret fem based activities that one of you harbours ?? Anyone need some H and S consultancy ??

:D
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
THE PLAAAAAGUE, THE PLAAAAAAGUE - STAAAAAAAY AWAAAAAAY!

Mind you, Fat Boy George has got an ex he'd like you to slip one up.
 
#8
reni_77 said:
Wishful_Thinking said:
reni_77 said:
Wishful_Thinking said:
Have you seen my arrse and thighs ??
No but I'd love to! :wink:
Best offer I've had this year....
Think of 2 PLCE bergans strapped to the side of a BV206 struggling up a shale and gravel slagheap, with hair on.... :D
OK I know what a bergen is, no idea what a BV wot-not is.... but what the hell :D
 
#11
Jeez you two get a room ;)
 
#12
reni_77 said:
Wishful_Thinking said:
reni_77 said:
Wishful_Thinking said:
Have you seen my arrse and thighs ??
No but I'd love to! :wink:
Best offer I've had this year....
Think of 2 PLCE bergans strapped to the side of a BV206 struggling up a shale and gravel slagheap, with hair on.... :D
God I love it when you talk dirty

I have a 10,000 word dissertation on NATO and Afghan that could do with writing if you are offering
 
#14
Moodybitch said:
Wishful_Thinking said:
Moodybitch said:
It's a truck
And it was a joke. :lol:
Bit like yet another dull thread of your flirting then?

As someone has already said, get a room and stop wasting bandwidth trying to get someone to chuck a mix up you ffs :roll:
Oh Moody, still posting the same old shite I see. When will you ever lighten up? Why is it you always think the same way, when a joke is made it means someone is trying to get laid?! How sad.

:roll:
 
#15
Take up Murder.

Its really easy, and can be reletivley cheap.

My last outing only involved apart from the obligatory stalking and pre-job leg work, a claw hammer some rope and a spade. Hours of fun for everyone, apart from your victom, for them its not so nice.

Veg.
 
#16
easesprings said:
reni_77 said:
Wishful_Thinking said:
reni_77 said:
Wishful_Thinking said:
Have you seen my arrse and thighs ??
No but I'd love to! :wink:
Best offer I've had this year....
Think of 2 PLCE bergans strapped to the side of a BV206 struggling up a shale and gravel slagheap, with hair on.... :D
God I love it when you talk dirty

I have a 10,000 word dissertation on NATO and Afghan that could do with writing if you are offering
Fire it forward, not known for my literary talents though, I could write it in the style of an 'Ultimate Force' script, touching succinctly on the duality of man and his quest for war and to conquer ??
 
#17
hallveg said:
Take up Murder.

Its really easy, and can be reletivley cheap.

My last outing only involved apart from the obligatory stalking and pre-job leg work, a claw hammer some rope and a spade. Hours of fun for everyone, apart from your victom, for them its not so nice.

Veg.
Not bad,

Just checked the garage, Ive got 3 x Schermulys, 2 x Green smoke, a bit of newspaper with 4 x 7.62 ball and a box of percussion caps, nearest neighbour is 250 yards away, there are 2 east to west running lanes either side of house, field to rear with stream and a cricket club 1000 yards due south,
SURELY there is a practical joke in that somewhere (one that preferably wont result in 3 months in Donny nick and the front cover of the local rag!!)
 
#18
reni_77 said:
Picked up a blinding blood parasite somewhere on my travels in the past year and its battered my liver resulting in spending the last week touch and go in a high dependancy unit, out now but with strict instructions banning (A) alcohol, nights out (B) excessive phys (C) exotic travel for the foreseeable future (D) sexual contact until told otherwise and (D) stress or overworking !!

So I am on the 'Pat and Mick' for 2 months, then back to work on 27 hours a week by agreement, so until they have identified and controlled whatever the problem is the next year is looking pretty shabby.

My ritualistic w*nk this morning was hard work, a long laborious struggle which resulted in a slight fissure up the back of left leg, a cloudy head and the expulsion of a pitiful amount of blood tainted smegma, hardly worth the bandwith. So thats out until futher notice !!

The boys have come good, am now in possesion of a lethal air rifle for the back field, a pile of PS3 games and pirate DVD's, a kings ransom in farm diesel so I can scoot about with minimal cost and the keys to a caravan in Monmouthshire.

Any ideas for hobbies ?? College course ?? Any good cookery courses ?? Secret fem based activities that one of you harbours ?? Anyone need some H and S consultancy ??

:D
You want to be careful with 'red' diesel - I know a chap who had his tank dipped - the Customs and Excise impounded his Defender.
It may have been the inland revenue - anyway he lost his vehicle.
 
#19
bigeye said:
reni_77 said:
Picked up a blinding blood parasite somewhere on my travels in the past year and its battered my liver resulting in spending the last week touch and go in a high dependancy unit, out now but with strict instructions banning (A) alcohol, nights out (B) excessive phys (C) exotic travel for the foreseeable future (D) sexual contact until told otherwise and (D) stress or overworking !!

So I am on the 'Pat and Mick' for 2 months, then back to work on 27 hours a week by agreement, so until they have identified and controlled whatever the problem is the next year is looking pretty shabby.

My ritualistic w*nk this morning was hard work, a long laborious struggle which resulted in a slight fissure up the back of left leg, a cloudy head and the expulsion of a pitiful amount of blood tainted smegma, hardly worth the bandwith. So thats out until futher notice !!

The boys have come good, am now in possesion of a lethal air rifle for the back field, a pile of PS3 games and pirate DVD's, a kings ransom in farm diesel so I can scoot about with minimal cost and the keys to a caravan in Monmouthshire.

Any ideas for hobbies ?? College course ?? Any good cookery courses ?? Secret fem based activities that one of you harbours ?? Anyone need some H and S consultancy ??

:D
You want to be careful with 'red' diesel - I know a chap who had his tank dipped - the Customs and Excise impounded his Defender.
It may have been the inland revenue - anyway he lost his vehicle.
Should be ok round here mate, its only for cutting about the ulu in, last bobby I saw out here was hanging out of a barn window trying to grab a cat !!
 
#20
hallveg said:
Take up Murder.

Its really easy, and can be reletivley cheap.

My last outing only involved apart from the obligatory stalking and pre-job leg work, a claw hammer some rope and a spade. Hours of fun for everyone, apart from your victom, for them its not so nice.

Veg.
He's not allowed to do phys or shag though. The exertion and subsequent arousal induced by claw hammering a prozzie might kill poor old Reni off.

Judging by his posts he lives in a rural area. There's bound to be a village idiot or belmer that he can corrupt enough to do his bidding (I'll send him a couple of red bawoons if it will help). Then, once he gets the all clear he can bum it and bury it without having to worry about any further health problems.
 

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