Croc eats Jock!!!

#1
Just saw on the news (STV) that ex- Nam Vet (Birminam/Cheltnam?) who was a Jock living in OZ, was eaten by a crocodile.

Any feedback from the Brits in Nam thread..

Or even the Cookery Forum??
 
#2
One less porridge wog in the world, nice one croc !
 
#3
Just goes to show they ain't fussy and will eat any old sh1t.
it wouldn't be very nutritous though.
 
#4
Sparky2339 said:
Just saw on the news (STV) that ex- Nam Vet (Birminam/Cheltnam?) who was a Jock living in OZ, was eaten by a crocodile.

Any feedback from the Brits in Nam thread..

Or even the Cookery Forum??
Got confused there ... misread it and thought that a jockadile in Oz had eaten a croc whilst feeding it bits of Naan bread :oops:

There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no ... oooo look a taxi!
 
#6
Ok the croc will develop heart disease and a drink problem but it will start referring to the english as a bunch of soft sassanach b*stards rather than soft pommie b*stards!
 
#8
yep were jealous of your popular language and all those useless windswept baron empty damp miles of depressing land oh and glascow were jealous of there cos we want to be the aids capitol of europe and alchoholic capitol and the buzzing popular busy port of lochmaddy in the outer hebredes, how did we miss that? damn if only we could aspire to those heights :lol: yeh i can see why moving to aus and being scoffed by a croc was a rather more exciting option.
 
#9
:D :D :D :D

Thank you Brethren of the Jockinese Lodge/Costcutter/Iqbal's et al :clap:

Yon Croc that ate the Jock will burp for a long time (deep fried Mars Bars etc)...

But, everytime it burps (meal comes back upon it like cucumber sarnies) it will hear the tune....

"FOR WE'RE NO AWA' TAE BIDE AWA'..

WE'RE NO AWA' TAE LEAVE YE..."

And you will know know what Karaoke/sing song/party is....

Edited to add - I sing faster than I can type so gave up after two lines...

Not of coke before ye start :D
 
#10
I'm just imagining Steve "Croc Hunter" Irwin (gawd rest 'is soul) wrestling with a 14 foot fresh water croc with a 'see you jimmy' hat on.

"Crikey, this one smells like he's been on the Special Brew!"

Then he receives a Glasgow Kiss and cacks his khakis.

Damn it! Why did he have to leave us when there are so many journos and too few buses?
 
#12
Markintime said:
Was the jock a 'gers fan singing the famine song at the time?
"Don't ye know the famines over? Go on home!!

Oh ye hav ye got no fkn spuds of yer own"

My song 20 yrs ago n easier to sing than the fields of arthenry but sung to go on hom british....

use search function...
 
#13
Sparky2339 said:
Markintime said:
Was the jock a 'gers fan singing the famine song at the time?
"Don't ye know the famines over? Go on home!!

Oh ye hav ye got no fkn spuds of yer own"

My song 20 yrs ago n easier to sing than the fields of arthenry but sung to go on hom british....

use search function...
Keep it up, Sparky. You get my vote! :D
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#14
The couple, who lived in Logan near Brisbane, had been travelling around the country in a caravan.

According to an article published in the Scotsman, Booker went to the river to check crab pots for the day's catch at around 8.30am yesterday.
Living in a caravan and setting crab pots? I wonder if he could have tarmaced my drive and removed that unsightly lead from the church roof?
 
#15
TheIronDuke said:
The couple, who lived in Logan near Brisbane, had been travelling around the country in a caravan.

According to an article published in the Scotsman, Booker went to the river to check crab pots for the day's catch at around 8.30am yesterday.
Living in a caravan and setting crab pots? I wonder if he could have tarmaced my drive and removed that unsightly lead from the church roof?
TBH Duke coming from a Pikey family myself....

Church roofs suffer from all that weight of lead on the timbers (I don't mean their singing).

And it's poisonous is lead, to be sure, to be doubly sure.....
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#16
Sparky2339 said:
TheIronDuke said:
The couple, who lived in Logan near Brisbane, had been travelling around the country in a caravan.

According to an article published in the Scotsman, Booker went to the river to check crab pots for the day's catch at around 8.30am yesterday.
Living in a caravan and setting crab pots? I wonder if he could have tarmaced my drive and removed that unsightly lead from the church roof?
TBH Duke coming from a Pikey family myself....

Church roofs suffer from all that weight of lead on the timbers (I don't mean their singing).

And it's poisonous is lead, to be sure, to be doubly sure.....
No offence my friend. Minister_Dog_Nuts is Jewish which is second cousins to you Scottish Pikeys. Apart from the fact that you lads are better at the tarmacing. You never quite got the hang of Usury, poisoning wells or sacraficing Christian babies, but nobody is perfect.

Shame about your Uncle Booker. Our thoughts are with the family at this terrible time.
 
#17
TheIronDuke said:
Shame about your Uncle Booker. Our thoughts are with the family at this terrible time.
My thoughts are with the croc ... poor fcuker. All the other crocs taunting it; "Slimey eat a jock ... Slimey eat a jock". It must be the reptile equivalent of getting caught eating Aldi own brand luncheon meat
 
#19
spike7451 said:
Jezus! I need my eyes tested!!!!
I thought it read "Jock eats c***"!!!!!!!!![/quote]

They probably will if you ask nicely :D
 

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