Crimbo Pressies for your Favourite Cross Dresser

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cutaway, Dec 12, 2005.

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  1. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    As we have seen the site attracts a wide range of people who differ from the norm in many and varied ways.

    Some are very sensitive, some more defensive and some are definitely too touchy-feely...

    All these types get their kicks in different ways, and they are often vilified by the majority for the pettiest of reasons when they only want to spread a little love.
    The fact that they want to spread it across the bum cheeks of a young boy is the disturbing part.

    However, as we are being encouraged from all sides to embrace diversity shouldn't we now be thinking of how these misfits can be made to feel a part of the community as a hole ?

    So if any of you are having problems in finding the right gift for the man that has everything but would like less, may I suggest the "Ming-on-a-String" ?

    These prosthetic wonders of modern technology not only cover any embarrassment felt by the abberation of nature due to being nominally male, but make it even easier to dupe Mainly Dim Numpties into thinking they are on MSN with a real trollop.
    You know, the sorts who were actually born as women.

    The Ming-on-a-String is availale in a number of sizes and spreads, the coiffure is made to order or can even be styled and dyed in exactly the same way as you all normally dye your pubes.
    Look here for your favourite hairstyle.

    As you can see they come in four tangy flavours, but can be customised according to the qu im, I'm sorry whim of the pervert concerned.

    For example should he wish to maquerade as a sickly diabetic doris all he has to do is dip his new Ming-on-a-String in a rather tasty suspension of sugar in cat p1ss.

    For other minorities, more ethnic in nature, the Ming-on-a-String may be coloured either with the non-toxic crayons available at any toyshop, or some simple food dyes. Red, yellow, and brown may be mixed to obtain the desired skin tone.
    For your average burkha wearing Al-Q lady, the transformation will be complete if a thick layer of Madras curry sauce is pasted over the whole area.
    (NB. If it is a Sunni lady he wishes to emulate then the little eskimo will have to be plucked from the kayak using a Leatherman tool.)

    Until further research is complete the are not yet available in 'Hospital Corners', only the 'Liver and Bacon' models as shown.


    For further details click here.

    Not that any of you buggers will believe me, but I actually found this website when doing a search for clotted cream for fcuks sake !
  2. If you say so, Cuts! :lol:
  3. Yes Cuts, of course, dear... :roll:

    Which one are you going to buy? Are you getting each of them, variety being the spice of life?
  4. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

  5. ... Cutaway. You are quite disturbed.
  6. Possibly..... but I too am now disturbed, having read this..... think I'll go and lie down in a darkened room......
  7. ... Cutaway, why the fcuk were you looking for clotted cream in the first place? And then, when the cold realisation hit, that you were not in some dairy produce reference section, did you then continue to look?
  8. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    As it happens I was trying to explain to two Jenny Foreigner types who'd asked me about it.
    Apparently, "It's feckin' brilliant !" does not count as an in-depth explanation to them so I decided I'd venture into the twentieth century for a moment to see what the web had to say.

    The description on this page was amusing enough for be to browse further.

    The look of utter disbelief on my face when I discovered the Ming-on-a-String was, I'm told, a picture.

    I normally say if I've found something from cruising the Frank sites, everyone knows I'm a card-carrying professional pervert anyway, but this is one isolated incident of happenstance.
    I shall endeavour to prevent this single lapse from occuring again.
  9. 21st now mate
  10. He lies!

    I had a very disturbing incident involving a feeding bra, nipple shields and fruit...... 8O

  11. 8O Thanks for that, Beebs - I feel quite queasy now! :?
  12. Cuts- you b'stard!

    You posted that ruddy pic to me, just as Mrs OA came into the sanctum- she wanted to print out her school monitors list.

    Happily the pic was still just a thumbnail,

    'What's that?' she asked, 'Looks like lillies...'

    'Aaah...probably, dear. Cuts has got a funny sense of humour....'

    Fast delete and hope she didn't notice :lol: :lol: :lol:
  13. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    As an incarnate Luddite I'm keeping as great a distance between myself & the 20th century as possible, so I definitely won't be entering the 21st.
  14. If one manages to get past the Minge on a String illustration, comes the notice that it is a spoog and not for real. Good idea though. Some Islamic men carry dried apricots when on a long journey and no camel is available. Soak the dried fruit in water and it becomes a minge - near enough for them anyway.