English cricket Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason Q. What is the height of optimism? A. An English batsman applying sunscreen. Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket? A. A bat. Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman? A. An all rounder. Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates? A. At least they can say they're not really English. Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick? A. Three runs in three balls. Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen? A. The walk back to the pavilion. Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad? A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats. Q. What does "Ashes" stand for? A. Another Sad Horrific English Series. Q. What's the English version of LBW? A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped. Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team? A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.