Cressida Dick looks Stuffed

Ah, well. It's all OK so long as you all can get cheap legal insurance.

You could probably chin off your Federation and join Unison as "associate non-striking" members.
Or just stick with The Fed, who do a good job as a staff support organisation and over 100 years knowledge of policing.
 
How police officers personally donated money is used by The Fed is of no concern to you.
Or you, once in the hands of the Fed you have lost control of it and the total £50m pa income the Fed makes.
 
Did you press those shorts yourself, or did your bearer do them for you?

Initially we had to do all our own laundry, cleaning, bulling etc in training school to make sure we knew how to do it properly. Then after we had proved we knew the ropes we were allowed to employ a "houseboy" who normally had been trained by the Staffs houseboys to do the job properly.
After all old chap all that cleaning stuff would interfere with "sundowners" after one finished ones shift doncherno!

ps in my memoirs on here I mentioned that those shorts were starched & ironed and were only put on at the last moment before parade for fear of creasing them.. The ones on the photo I had just worn on our passing out parade & hence were creased as were the jackets sleeves, but believe you me, were pristine with crease you could almost cut yourself on prior to the parade!!
 
Initially we had to do all our own laundry, cleaning, bulling etc in training school to make sure we knew how to do it properly. Then after we had proved we knew the ropes we were allowed to employ a "houseboy" who normally had been trained by the Staffs houseboys to do the job properly.
After all old chap all that cleaning stuff would interfere with "sundowners" after one finished ones shift doncherno!

ps in my memoirs on here I mentioned that those shorts were starched & ironed and were only put on at the last moment before parade for fear of creasing them.. The ones on the photo I had just worn on our passing out parade & hence were creased as were the jackets sleeves, but believe you me, were pristine with crease you could almost cut yourself on prior to the parade!!
We had to wear our ginger marching suits for some reason at SEE and one of the blokes got his wife to press his.
It looked brilliant but she had pressed the jacket the same as his shirts. We didn't notice till we lined up and then it was too late.
The CSM never noticed it.
For myself once I passed out I put my suit into a dry cleaners to be pressed and subsequently never touched it.
On my SMC one of the DS saw my suit hanging up and complimented me on it. This was 1981, it was done by the dry cleaners in 1974.
 
Around 2015 it must be. I had just earnt my place on what was at the time still the sunlit uplands of ERPT from Neighbourhoods. Within a couple of months some high-flying bright spark had realised that by binning off an hour here or there from early shifts (these were the hours after handover when paperwork and other ongoing admin could be done), you could save enough hours to remove entire rest days and still have the same average hours per year worked.

The shift pattern went from 6 on 4 off (finishing on nights so really 3.5 off) with the occasional 7 on 2.5 off to being entirely 7 on 2.5 off with one 6 day set roughly every other month. It caused uproar and everyone objected, but the Fed achieved nothing and it got pushed ahead. An hour here or there makes no difference but entire days off do, and it meant you had to spend more leave to get the same amount of time off, it meant extra aid shifts in the set (which could be long and tiring) and more importantly it's just exhausting. I accept that back in the day the shift pattern was both bizarre and worse in terms of timing, but it's also true to say that ERPT had an awful lot less to deal with.

The real hilarious thing is that the regulations state an alternate shift pattern must be offered. It was and it was even worse so we had to 'accept' the other one. I'm pleased to say the person responsible got promoted off the back of it; indeed she's now a Deputy Assistant Commissioner.
Sounds about par for the course with the job.
 
Initially we had to do all our own laundry, cleaning, bulling etc in training school to make sure we knew how to do it properly. Then after we had proved we knew the ropes we were allowed to employ a "houseboy" who normally had been trained by the Staffs houseboys to do the job properly.
After all old chap all that cleaning stuff would interfere with "sundowners" after one finished ones shift doncherno!

ps in my memoirs on here I mentioned that those shorts were starched & ironed and were only put on at the last moment before parade for fear of creasing them.. The ones on the photo I had just worn on our passing out parade & hence were creased as were the jackets sleeves, but believe you me, were pristine with crease you could almost cut yourself on prior to the parade!!
I hope you did't go Commando. You might end up castrating yourself.
 
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Initially we had to do all our own laundry, cleaning, bulling etc in training school to make sure we knew how to do it properly. Then after we had proved we knew the ropes we were allowed to employ a "houseboy" who normally had been trained by the Staffs houseboys to do the job properly.
After all old chap all that cleaning stuff would interfere with "sundowners" after one finished ones shift doncherno!

ps in my memoirs on here I mentioned that those shorts were starched & ironed and were only put on at the last moment before parade for fear of creasing them.. The ones on the photo I had just worn on our passing out parade & hence were creased as were the jackets sleeves, but believe you me, were pristine with crease you could almost cut yourself on prior to the parade!!
I thought that your memoirs was one of the most classic threads on this site. A historical gem.
 
I thought that your memoirs was one of the most classic threads on this site. A historical gem.


Thank you for that very kind post. I mainly did it to satisfy the chaps on here who would often query some of the posts I made, correcting some responses and putting situations in context, many in fact did suggest I put these memories down before I drop off the perch. But also, thanks to it subsequently going on the British Empire website here Tales of Colonial Policeman in Northern Rhodesia
to correct and counter the massive surge in the re-writing history in much of modern Britain by the biased, seemingly self hating apologists for anything/everything British, painting anyone who served/worked in Africa as cruel, racist tyrants who oppressed, bullied or killed the natives for profit or just because they wanted to.
I think this site is brilliant, my memoirs are just a fraction of other equally or better threads, "Swordsmans" great memoirs of his times on Sword beach & after. "Stumpy" the hilarious memoirs of a service dog are just a couple off the top of my head.
The sensible (mostly) advice given to people who request it as seen in the recent thread asking about a photo of a Naval Capt. in Malta is typical. Even if one doesn't have a dog in that particular fight, it still makes interesting reading.
Seeing posts & photos from other countries like those of "Loofkar" and the now departed "Jumping Jarhead" gave other countries perspectives
Long may "Arrse" continue to inform, amuse, titillate & occasionally (with certain posters anyway) annoy us!
 
Thank you for that very kind post. I mainly did it to satisfy the chaps on here who would often query some of the posts I made, correcting some responses and putting situations in context, many in fact did suggest I put these memories down before I drop off the perch. But also, thanks to it subsequently going on the British Empire website here Tales of Colonial Policeman in Northern Rhodesia
to correct and counter the massive surge in the re-writing history in much of modern Britain by the biased, seemingly self hating apologists for anything/everything British, painting anyone who served/worked in Africa as cruel, racist tyrants who oppressed, bullied or killed the natives for profit or just because they wanted to.
I think this site is brilliant, my memoirs are just a fraction of other equally or better threads, "Swordsmans" great memoirs of his times on Sword beach & after. "Stumpy" the hilarious memoirs of a service dog are just a couple off the top of my head.
The sensible (mostly) advice given to people who request it as seen in the recent thread asking about a photo of a Naval Capt. in Malta is typical. Even if one doesn't have a dog in that particular fight, it still makes interesting reading.
Seeing posts & photos from other countries like those of "Loofkar" and the now departed "Jumping Jarhead" gave other countries perspectives
Long may "Arrse" continue to inform, amuse, titillate & occasionally (with certain posters anyway) annoy us!
Stumpy was epic. I need to revisit those stories.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Bringing in PCCs under Cameron and May has fully cemented partisan political interference with no discernible advantages.
our local one is useless
he was useless when he was a copper
now he creams off a massive salary on top of his already large police pension
the useless old fool
 
Yes but we were told that we couldn't use them as they were deemed too agressive. Two cell only, although I had a three cell and nobody said anything. The issue torches fell apart on the first week of night duty.
Ah the issue torch. Would that have been the old two button rubber cased torch, that barely gave enough light to check your watch?
 
Ah, well. It's all OK so long as you all can get cheap legal insurance.

You could probably chin off your Federation and join Unison as "associate non-striking" members.
The last few years of my service I did indeed “chin off” the fed subscription & paid half for decent on duty cover.

it was more about the corrupt national leadership than the money, but just showed the disparity between cost & the Fed overhead.
 

jmb3296

Old-Salt
a four cell packs more punch for far less effort !

A member of my shift when I was but a young sprog had a magnificent five cell one I think.

Unfortunately one deep dark night it genuinely and accidentally came into contact with the jaw of a violent man who leapt out of a dark alley to assault him.
As he swung his hand up to ward off the blow the torch body struck the jaw, laid him out and took out some of the neds teeth.
He, the cop, was charged with assault with a weapon, suspended for months and faced trial after about a year and found not guilty.
Toothless ned couldn't identify who had hit him!
Good result but the cop was never the same again, his wife suffered ill health through stress during the suspension and never forgave the job for what it put him through.
I bought a two cell magilite to avoid a similar experience.
 
A member of my shift when I was but a young sprog had a magnificent five cell one I think.

Unfortunately one deep dark night it genuinely and accidentally came into contact with the jaw of a violent man who leapt out of a dark alley to assault him.
As he swung his hand up to ward off the blow the torch body struck the jaw, laid him out and took out some of the neds teeth.
He, the cop, was charged with assault with a weapon, suspended for months and faced trial after about a year and found not guilty.
Toothless ned couldn't identify who had hit him!
Good result but the cop was never the same again, his wife suffered ill health through stress during the suspension and never forgave the job for what it put him through.
I bought a two cell magilite to avoid a similar experience.
Given that treatment, why would he ever put himself in that position again?
 

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