Crem Dripping

The Crematorium in our town, is approx 500m from the site of a proposed new sports centre, complete with super duper swimming pool. The local council have come up with the brilliant wheeze, of heating the new place with the spare heat from the crem.

The next thing will be, that all the local chippies will be using crem dripping for the fish and chips.


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Wouldn't stop me going for a dip.
They're already using the ashes as road grit, so why not the heat as well?

Better yet, just hang a bit fat bastard up in the sports centre, and set fire to him with a bit of paraffin and old newspaper.
Nice to think that some of the deceased doleys will be putting something back into the community.


Book Reviewer
If they save up the ones with pacemakers till November 5th it will save all that money on fireworks and they could run a 'Spot Your Gran' competition for the kids.
Sounds like a pipe dream.
From an engineering point of view,would not the 500 yards from the crem to the lesiure centre mean that most of the heat would be lost?
Maybe build the crem under the leisure centre?

Mark The Convict

Using the megalitres of humanoid sweat drained from beneath Fitness First franchises. It's a wasted resource otherwise, so why not?
Sounds like a good idea to me. There's nothing like a roaring fire of dole-scroungers to take the chill off the water of a morning. :)
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