Creepy Crawlies -What bugs you?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by shagnasty, Jul 5, 2007.

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  1. Just going round my basha t'other day and snapped the gran'daddy of bugs. Anyone care to pick a fight with him/her? (no idea of sex). Could be a tranny for all I know. Jungle fighters would of course have seen worse. Anyway he/she is now residing in gin - a good preservative - and I've named him/her Hector.

    So what bugs you? Replies from insects or molluscs not acknowledged.

    Attached Files:

  2. A touch of the crabs
    • Like Like x 1
  3. You do, and I am a mollusc, ergo I can tell you to stop bothering me.
  4. That rodent Graham Norton _ self explanitary really.
    Make my ball sac retract.
  5. Spiders, f'ing spiders, any spiders.
  6. Sad and embarrassed to say big b*&tard moths, (butterflies okay for some reason???) :oops: I hate the flappy wing c-nuts. Pathetic I know cos the F*&kers fall apart when you whack them.

    Re that pic, what an ugly b*&tard thing that looks like the ugly b&%tards I've seen before in places humid where big buggery moths also hang out. How big was said beastie???
  7. You are not alone....... :oops:
  8. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Anything big enough to feel when it drops onto your doss bag in the tropics.


    "Gosh. Thats a big whateverthefuckitis"

    "It'll probabally go away"

    "It hasnt. Its moving"

    "I could shine a light but what if ALIEN is two inches from my face? The scream may alarm the neigbours"

    "Its probabally harmless. And blind"

    "Which gives it a 25% chance of crawling onto my face"

    "Or its not blind. Will it think my eyes are food?"

    "Will it want to crawl somewhere warm to lay its eggs? Like my ear"


    And those big stupid flying cockroach things which can near on put your eye out. I'd be all for just gassing everything in the tropics. Sod the tiger. We've got zoos.
  9. Just as the rainy season starts here you get big swarms of dragon/horseflies that appear just before a storm.
    As you speed up (on your bike) to get home before it rains you will end up having big bruises on your forehead and face as you ride your bike through them.
  10. Them tiny little black dot things (thunder flies) that appear round harvest time.
  11. I used to be sh1t scared of spiders as a kid, but thought I'd finally conquered it by the time I reached adulthood and joined the Army.
    Then they posted me to Belize.
    People had warned me about the spiders out there, but I thought they were pulling my leg to a large degree. First day there, I was going through GPMG drills and like every other Moonie, I had the squits. Felt the world was just about to fall from my bottom, so leapt up and started running for the bogs, with the weapons instructor Cpl screaming at me to come back and make safe first. I told him to fcuk off and kept on running, and just as I was passing the lads at the back of the group, one grinning old sweat told me to make sure I checked under the bog seat for spiders before I sat down.
    Just about made it to the bog before my @rse erupted. Sitting there, with the relief and satisfaction spreading through my body, the words of that old sweat started nagging at the back of my mind. I stood up, lifted the seat and had a look. There, clinging to the bottom of the seat was a big brown tarantula spider which had been about half a centimeter from my b0ll0cks.
    That was in 1987; I stopped regularly checking under the bog seat about 3 years ago, but if I'm honest, I still give it the occasional look even now. I suppose one good thing to come out of it is that, after seeing all those fecking huge evil looking spiders in Belize, even the biggest UK spiders don't worry me any more.

  12. Yeah Belize was bad for crawly things - but always in the back of my mind when out on patrol in jungle and practising fire drills etc was when crawling around that some great monster snake would be hiding away ready to spring out at you :D
  13. As the elephant is afraid of the tiny wee mousey, so mighty Cuddles is feart of big crunchy insectoids...I was patrolling through darkest jungle in Belize all warry and tactical when with a soft "whop" sound, a six inch wide leaf insect dropped onto my shoulder right onto my yoke. I think it had taken a fancy to my shell dressing...

    Six inches wide, it looked like a big green Cornish pasty with legs - a bit like the ones in the horror-bag rations. How I stifled a scream I do not to this day know...brrr. Just as I managed to man-up when the centipede decided to stop for a rest on my rifle a few hours later in our ambush position. It took about three gallons of adrenaline I can tell you.

    Almost as unfunny was the day, sat outside the canteen in Split, enjoying the November sunshine and a praying mantis landed on the guy next to me. I was torn between "Aaagh, aren't they poisonous, vicious, bizarre!" and "Aaaagh, oh feck they can FLY??"

    Edited to add: All my hackles are up and I'm "brrrr-ing" - despite being in the safety of my office!
  14. Midges in the Highlands - so thick I thought I was going to suffocate (happened once on Lake Victoria I believe). Executive decision to abandon fish was taken, only to find that some w@nker had left the sunroof open...

    Ticks - evil little tagnuts of the devil.

    Fleas - particularly skanky temp in Manc, walked up behind reception and then noticed her hair moving... blech.