Credit Crunch - Jokes, Gags, and Anecdotes

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by pombsen-armchair-warrior, Oct 9, 2008.

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  1. Just came across a couple of mildly amusing jokes doing the rounds:

    ........the Origami Bank has just folded
    ........something smells fishy at the Sushi Bank

    Anything else out there?
  2. Apparantly the Royal Dyslexic Bank is starting to feel the crutch :)

    And the Bank of Gays has had to go into receivership 8O
  3. The joke last time round was:-

    Q. Whats the difference between a stock broker & a pigeon?

    A. A pigeon can still make a small deposit on a Porsche!!!!!

    So OK! It wasn't that funny then.......
  4. What's the difference between Tesco and Iceland?

    Iceland doesn't do cashback.
  5. Apparently the Nigerian government has warned its citizens that if they
    get any e-mails from Irish/UK/US banks, promising government-backed
    deposit security and seeking bank account details, its a scam...
  6. I went to the ATM this morning and it said "insufficient funds".
    I'm wondering is it them or me.

    Now that Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae have been taken over by the US Government, doesn't it make the US one big council estate?

    Next they'll be sitting in front of the TV all day eating pizza and getting immensely fat.

    Oh wait a minute...

    I've had terrible financial problems during the credit crunch, but I'm getting back on my feet again now.

    They've repossessed the car.
  7. The true balance sheet of US Investment banks

    There are two sides of the balance sheet: the left side and the right side.

    On the left side, there is nothing right.

    .. And on the right side, there is nothing left.
  8. Financial Crisis Hits Japanese Banks

    Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

    In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

    Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today, shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

    While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

    Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
  9. Due to the credit crunch I'm now shopping at cheaper food outlets - Have you tried the new Korean meat balls from Aldi? They really are the dogs bollocx :)
  10. Oh this made me Laugh

  11. Nice one, CR.
  12. Just in ... Even the UK's top family are feeling the credit crunch ...

  13. Doctors' Opinion of Financial Bail Out Package

    The Allergists voted to scratch it, and the Dermatologists advised not
    to make any rash moves.

    The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve, and the Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

    The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted; the Pathologists yelled, 'Over my dead body!' while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'

    The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the Radiologists could see right through it, and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

    The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, 'This puts a whole new face on the matter.'

    The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

    The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

    In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some assholes in Washington.