Creative ways to dump :)

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Spr_D, Feb 20, 2012.

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  1. I'm normally one to just ignore calls, e-mails, etc until the hint is gotten. But i'm in need of an inventive way of severing all ties with a female who's a bit below par in the vanity department, who I graced with a weekend of filth. Effectively a weekend long one-night stand because she had beer and a playstation 3.

    Any and all ideas are welcome.
  2. I think the obvious solution is to call her and give her a bollocking for giving you genital warts.
  3. Get her pissed. Shag her arse till it bleeds and when she passes out, shit on her pillow and do a runner.
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  4. And to be honest, I am ashamed that a fellow Sapper had to ask.
  5. Don't forget to take the playstation on your way out.
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  6. Never part on bad terms. You never know when you may in need of fuck, and she may be the only option.

    Post photos of her obviously.
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  7. And the beer.
  8. Kill and bury her? If a sapper can't find a way of creating a hole big enough for a body, then it must be time to kill himself.
  9. Send her a link to this page.

    After posting pics and details of the dirty scutter first.
  10. All things are relative. Einstein said so.
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  11. The truth usually works well, just introduce her to all your gay friends and then tell her that you only shagged her because they all had the shits that weekend.
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  12. A few lines for you to try;All my friends at the gay bar said I should go through with the sex change, what do you think?, Would you like to meet my last girlfriend? Really, its no problem, she's still chained up in my basement, I was only hanging around with you because I wanted to get in your mother's knickers, It's you, not me...I mean it's me, not you, I really like you. . . So does my wife, You look too much like my sister/brother, I can't see you anymore, Does your friend like three-somes?, Here's the phone number of my doctor, I think you and he should talk.... , Send a dozen dead roses with a note: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!" , Can I borrow that cute little blue teddy and heels?, [​IMG]
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  13. Pics or she doesn't fucking exist.
  14. on leave today, so where does she live?
    if it's within M25 PM me her number & will go round and comfort her, you brute!