Creative ways to dump :)

I'm normally one to just ignore calls, e-mails, etc until the hint is gotten. But i'm in need of an inventive way of severing all ties with a female who's a bit below par in the vanity department, who I graced with a weekend of filth. Effectively a weekend long one-night stand because she had beer and a playstation 3.

Any and all ideas are welcome.
I think the obvious solution is to call her and give her a bollocking for giving you genital warts.
Get her pissed. Shag her arse till it bleeds and when she passes out, shit on her pillow and do a runner.
And to be honest, I am ashamed that a fellow Sapper had to ask.


Never part on bad terms. You never know when you may in need of fuck, and she may be the only option.

Post photos of her obviously.
Kill and bury her? If a sapper can't find a way of creating a hole big enough for a body, then it must be time to kill himself.


Send her a link to this page.

After posting pics and details of the dirty scutter first.
All things are relative. Einstein said so.
The truth usually works well, just introduce her to all your gay friends and then tell her that you only shagged her because they all had the shits that weekend.
A few lines for you to try;All my friends at the gay bar said I should go through with the sex change, what do you think?, Would you like to meet my last girlfriend? Really, its no problem, she's still chained up in my basement, I was only hanging around with you because I wanted to get in your mother's knickers, It's you, not me...I mean it's me, not you, I really like you. . . So does my wife, You look too much like my sister/brother, I can't see you anymore, Does your friend like three-somes?, Here's the phone number of my doctor, I think you and he should talk.... , Send a dozen dead roses with a note: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!" , Can I borrow that cute little blue teddy and heels?,
And to be honest, I am ashamed that a fellow Sapper had to ask.

Don't be, although i did say i'm in need. I've always got a contingency :D

I'm still working, once i get around to it, I'll try to dig out a picture of the shovel faced desperado.
I misread the title of the thread, I thought it was about inventive ways of shitting, ha! daft old fucker.

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