Crazyest knicker loosening line used, did it work?

#21
I posted this in another thread a while back ...

Late seventies and myself and 2 mates were on the pull in Plymouth and it became most apparant that the local 'talent' wouldn't cop for squaddies. So, we three 'walterteers', became three of the crew of Her Majesties illustrious battleship 'Bulstrode' sailing for foreign lands on the morrow. And it worked ... a few port & lemons later we were well 'berthed'. In the morning we kissed our sweeties goodbye and headed off in the direction of the Naval Dockyard with a promise of foreign pressies on our return in 3 months.

Only we very stupidly went on the lash again that very evening ... and bumped into the same three lovelies. One of my mates calmed the situation with a tale of mechanical failure. With a couple of beers more inside him my other mate told the tale of gross incompetency; that of running out of fuel a couple of miles down the coast. Unfortunately, a beer or two more and I had spilled the 'top secret' story. We had rounded the Ho and been hit by a torpedo believed to have been fired from a fast boat adapted by the IRA. A slap in the face and sharp words followed as we were abandoned by the lovelies. My mates felt that they should have been wearing 'We're With Stupid' T Shirts.

Me? I didn't give a $hit ... made my way to the bar and introduced myself to the blonde thickie at the bar ... "G'day mate. Buzz Wallaby, Royal Australian Astronaut Corps. Port and Lemon?"
 
#23
old_fat_and_hairy said:
I was once successful, many years ago, by saying to a girl; 'I'm a stranger here, can you show me the way to your place?'

And I got a discount!
Was it a five finger discount?


Aythangyew...
 
#24
BS that I regularly try is that I and whoever I'm out with are top trolly collectors from asda/sainsburys/etc, in town on a trolly collecting course to get fully qualified, and of course we're only out on the pop for one night...

Dolphin trainers from whichever the nearest zoo is gets used as a back up, also.
 
#26
"I bet I can beat you in a pint downing contest"

I didn't, but i did nick most of the fried chicken she bought on the way back to hers.

Bitch gave me genital warts.
 
#27
many years ago in a NAAFFI far from here i beconed over a girl when she approached me i said ive just made you come with one finger imagine what i could do for you in bed.....er she just laughed and i didnt get any ..
 
#28
Shelf_Stacker said:
BS that I regularly try is that I and whoever I'm out with are top trolly collectors from asda/sainsburys/etc, in town on a trolly collecting course to get fully qualified, and of course we're only out on the pop for one night...

Dolphin trainers from whichever the nearest zoo is gets used as a back up, also.
You have to be very careful of the 'Dolphin Trainer' line these days. I was on the piss in Salisbury a few years back when I introduced myself to a lass as a Dolphin Trainer. Her jaw dropped, 'That's amazing!' she said.
'Nah, s'nothing,' says I, all casual.
'No, I just met a bloke at the bar who's also a dolphin trainer! What're the chances of that? Hang on, I'll just go and get him...'
She returned from the bar with a bloke dressed suspiciously like me, with short hair and a sheepish grin. We were both left trying to make Dolphin-Trainer smalltalk with each other while she looked on approvingly...

B-T
 
#29
A certain Cdo Bty BK was famous for his top pick-up line "Hi, my name's Alan and I'm a commando.." Bastard thing is, he usually was successful with it! Truly there is no justice in this world.
 
T

TheSnake

Guest
#30
Found this can have good effects :

"Me? oh, I'm a dog groomer"........ :D

Keep 'em coming fellas, i'm out trapping this weekend !!
 
#31
"I'm a gigolo. You can tell I'm good in bed because I can make a living looking like this."
 
#33
Cuddles said:
A certain Cdo Bty BK was famous for his top pick-up line "Hi, my name's Alan and I'm a commando.." fatherless thing is, he usually was successful with it! Truly there is no justice in this world.
"Hi, my name is *****, Bomb Disposal. Sleep with me and you'll sleep safer".

So w@nky, it never worked!
 
#34
On a cse and one night went down town just chatting to one of the other lads and we were messing around like lads do. I leaned over and went to plant a kiss on his lips but at the very last second putting my hand up so it blocked the kiss.
Que a tap on the shoulder from a bird asking if she could have some of that :wink:
 
#35
I have used the line
''I want you''
It was a party, I was lashed enough not to care, she said yes, and the next day told me she liked my honest approach!
Happy days :wink: :wink:
 
#36
Wishful_Thinking said:
This line was used on me once, and no it didn't work!

"Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg ?

No ?? Want to go on a picnic and find out?"


:roll: Terrible!
Fucking lezza.
 
#39
"Don't make me turn this rape into a murder".
 
#40
StabTiffy2B said:
"Don't make me turn this rape into a murder".
We all know thats the only way a weedy, big eared fcukwit like you could get laid, you fcuking throbber.

By the way happy birthday, it is halloween isnt it.
 

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