Crazyest knicker loosening line used, did it work?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by JediKnight, Oct 31, 2007.

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  1. A few years back I was drinking in rather shabby pub in Stamford. When asked by rather attractive (I was durnk!) girl what I did I answered "Austrailian Sheep shearing World Champion" With my best Aussie accent (This is easy to do if you are a South Londoner!). It worked OK for a while. Cover was blown when she turned out to live on a farm and had loads of sheep. When she invited me round to shear those, I fessed up that my name was not "Blue from the Kimberlys" but I was actually "Paddy from Cork, and Oi Digs Da Roads"

    Any of you used anything so stupid?
  2. Walks over to girl in bar:

    'Hi I'm just off to the loo for a wank and I wanted to know the name to go with the beautiful face and body I'll be thinking of.....'

    Works everytime.... honest!
  3. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I find that dropping into the conversation that I am a very wealthy film producer works, especially if it is combined with the classic 'on the knees, begging and pleading' posture.
  4. With my looks who needs a corny chat up line.
  5. I witnessed one of the most dreadful attempts at a chat up line, and it still feel nauseous just thinking of it now.

    Keith ****** went up to a lass, dropped the ice from his drink onto the floor and dramatically stamped on it (almost falling over as he did). He then proudly annouced 'There, thats broken the ice between us ' I can't remember what else he said after that.

    oh, and it didn't work.

    and not to foget Kenny and his 'Ey up, I'm Kenny, are you wet yet?'

    Guess what? That failed too.
  6. mysteron

    mysteron LE Book Reviewer

    I have seen a lad from my old regiment I used to serve in (this whilst being based in Germany) go up to a bird in Hamburg, stop, turn around and shout as loud as he can to his mates on the other side of the bar - "Lads, what's German for Do yer shag?"

    Funnily enough, he didn't pull on that one.
  7. I remember once seeing a lad lurking outside the ladies toilets with a roll of shite paper. Every time a lass walked up he would roll of two sheets and announce "two sheets!" like a bus conductor. Eventually a fat lass walked up and he went " 6? Fcuk it have the whole roll!!" She chinned him and he went down like a sack of sh1t. Funnies thing I ever witnessed :D :D
  8. I'm with Bill Bryson on this one - my technique involves going up to the ugliest specimen in the bar, asking to buy them a drink and then being told to fcuk off. :wink:
  9. A 'gentleman' once asked if I had any Cockney in me and would I like some.

    It did not work! Perhaps that just me being choosy :roll:
  10. Would you mind giving me a hand move something 7 inches?


    A couple of mililitres of sperm.

    No that one doesn't work either.:)
  11. This line was used on me once, and no it didn't work!

    "Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg ?

    No ?? Want to go on a picnic and find out?"

    :roll: Terrible!
  12. "Get in the car, i've got a knife"

    Works every time, without fail.
  13. With your looks you need a ski mask and a BIG knife :D Tisch, Boom! Thank you, I'll be here all evening :D

    My best chat up line was when I was trying to pull a Swedish Au'pair. We had been chatting for about 20 minutes, I looked her right in her deep blue eyes and said

    "Ya Dun'ny fuckin' understand a word I'm sa'in!" Then fell off my chair.

    I was very very very drunk. :oops:
  14. But did it work?
  15. In a bar on a skiing trip in the south of france, someone asked the waitress, "why do all french girls look as if they are really good in bed"?
    "Because all french girls are" was the reply.