Craven A fond of mass debating - anyone know the words


Kit Reviewer
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There was on opera singing Officer of the Ayreshire Yeomanry and the Royal Hong Kong Regiment (The Volunteers) who sung a song first line being 'Craven A fond of mass turbation' I never learned the words because I was always too pissed and laughing too much. Does anyone out there know the words?


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I guess that the lack of replies means no one out there knows the words
A great song and one sang twenty years ago p%%ssed wandering around bars. I would like to ay I remembered the words but I cheated and got them from

Here you go/

Now gather round you fellows and if you'll be still [???]
I'll tell you of a bastard born at Bellevue Hill, [???]
Born at Boswell Hill, but raised in Camberwell, [???]
And the first three words he uttered were "Bloody ******* Hell"


Craven A, never heard of fornication,
Craven A, never has wet dreams,
Craven A, quite content with masturbation,
Fooling with his foreskin in the school latrines.

When he went to Geelong Grammar there was much ado, [??; HELP...muddled.]
He buggared all the masters and the prefects too,
They finally expelled him, so the records say,
For tossing off the Duke of York on Founder's Day.

His entrance to University was quite grotesque
He went and laid his penis on his tutor's desk,
Said his tutor "If it falls of at a later date
Please inform me and I'll use it as a paper weight!"


While rowing for the Varsity on boat race day
He lost his oar and masturbated all the way
They won by half a length but were disqualify
For rogering the women on the Middlesex side.


The landlady's daughter, Millie, was as nice as can be,
She always brought her **** up with a cup of tea,
She'd been through her so often that the courts declare
Her vagina constitutes a legal thoroughfare.

Final Chorus:

Craven A, never heard of fornication,
Craven A, now he has wet dreams,
Craven A, not content with masturbation,
Gets his urges as regular as you and me
More or less as remembered, less the final line of the chorus which ran, "thought a cnut was something one was called at school" and the last line of the rowing verse which had, rather than, "For rogering the women...", "For splashing the spectators...".

Happy days...

Whiffler and B_T,

I'm humming the tune, is that helping?

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