Crap RMP Arrests

ACAB

LE
Now, I've told this story a couple of times on ARRSE but it has now been brought to my attention that telling it really winds up Wets.

So, once more into the Breech and feel free to post your own disasters with RMP!

I was a sprog Guardsman in Chelsea barracks and on New Years eve was out on the lash with the lads and our tarts in the Kings Head in Sloane Square. Anyway, I was monged and was staggering back to barracks when I got lifted by the RMP. I was presented to the Sergeant of the Guard, a big, hard ugly motherfucker called Duncan McRae.

"Why has he been arrested" says Duncan

"Coz he was dancing in the fountain in Sloane Square" says the plod

"Really, so why aren't his socks and shoes wet?" says Duncan before literally throwing the ******* out his Guardroom. "Cpl Reid, go to bed" "Yes Sergeant" was all I could manage.
 

NEQcounter

War Hero
I got hauled over and bollocked by the monkeys in Belize for driving with dirty headlights - in the middle of the day.
 
Things were the other way round for me. I got off, whilst being guilty as sin.
 
I got clocked speeding on the approach to BLMF. I blamed it on going down hill ant not wanting to miss supper, which was the best thing about the mental factory. TY Chefs.
 

spaz

LE
This one time Peli23 was a copper but he had to leave because he was too much of a ****.



And because his penis is incredibly small.
 

begbie

Old-Salt
Can't see this being much of a thread, I did sixteen years in RMP and I'd be very surprised if my arrests got into double figures and most of them were absentees.
However did manage to get myself interviewed by the SIB twice.


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This one time Peli23 was a copper but he had to leave because he was too much of a ****.



And because his penis is incredibly small.

What? As opposed to you being a massive penis.


Wets.
 

spaz

LE
What? As opposed to you being a massive penis.


Wets.

You should put a little gay signature on the bottom of that post because it's epic.

bgyywx.gif
 
They, the Monkeys, used to follow the truck used for R & R from St Tonis to Rheindhalen Garrison for an evenings on the lash at the Malborough club and the local German pub, The Shack in the garrison area. The RMP used to follow the truck of Garrison Area around 10:30 PM to make sure we were all away and no longer their responsibility. The Deutcher Politzie then used to follow the 3 tonne truck back to St Tonis and Fransica Barracks. An evening of drink and fun was had by all.
 
This one time Peli23 was a copper but he had to leave because he was too much of a ****.



And because his penis is incredibly small.
That's not the reason I left.

Tell us about your Great Escape again. It's thrilling and the custody wit must have been soooooo funny. ****
 

begbie

Old-Salt
Hey it's not my fault that all you coppers are corrupt, thieving bastards who're on the take and everyone hates you.

I'm devastated some body I've never met thinks I'm corrupt and hates me, how can I sleep at night?
Your the Internet version of a hundred yard hero!


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Crawling back to Alexander barracks from the Phoenix club ( as I recall some actual crawling took place) in Aldergrove, we were thrown in jail by the RMP orderly officer for being out after curfew. 10 mins after he left, we were thrown out of jail by the Ord Sgt and told to f**k off and not to get caught next time...
 

spaz

LE
I'm devastated some body I've never met thinks I'm corrupt and hates me, how can I sleep at night?
Your the Internet version of a hundred yard hero!

With all those betrayals of trust on my conscience I'd struggle to sleep too.

Maybe you could mend your ways and do some voluntary work to help your victims.

It might not be much but it's a start and might allow you to move on.
 

begbie

Old-Salt
With all those betrayals of trust on my conscience I'd struggle to sleep too.

Maybe you could mend your ways and do some voluntary work to help your victims.

It might not be much but it's a start and might allow you to move on.

Fortunately I have no conscience, it was removed at RMPTC !


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ACAB

LE
With all those betrayals of trust on my conscience I'd struggle to sleep too.

You don't know a lot about being a Plod do you?

CuntyFuck!, beaten by Begbie
 

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