Crap in a cup

#1
Just to add to my anal obsession, we were chatting at work today fun stunts that take things like skiffing to a new level.

So Fish pipes up with his new game.

The rules are, you have to fill a cup full of shit, without touching it. No problem you think but then the idea was you put clingfilm on it and the winner is the one who can leave it on their desk the longest.

Excuse me must bin this cup of meaty goodness...
 
#2
Interesting idea. We had a coffee cup mould growing competition a previous workplace.

Unfortunately mine died due to overfeeding after a week or two.

What's your plan for the cupful of excrement......apart from letting it sit and stink on your desk?
 
#3
I propose a new rule to the game. Periodically said clingfilm must either be removed or pierced, say every 3 minutes folllowed by a large nasal inhalation by the cup holder replace clingfilm and carry on as normal. The holder with most inhalations earns free drinks at next pish up.
 
#4
suits_U said:
I propose a new rule to the game. Periodically said clingfilm must either be removed or pierced, say every 3 minutes folllowed by a large nasal inhalation by the cup holder replace clingfilm and carry on as normal. The holder with most inhalations earns free drinks at next pish up.
Sort of like a sh1te-flavoured magic tree?
 
#6
fish-head said:
The rules are, you have to fill a cup full of s***, without touching it.

What size cup?

Size is important, if you have a tendency to curl out a ball bag stroking monster you dont want to be shitting in yer mums best china tea thimble leaving half the brown trout flobbing over the edge and touching the saucer?

That said, if you're the type that blats colon shrapnel you dont really want it fermenting in a bucket sized mug, the extra volume means more trumpy gas to contend with.....?
 
#7
Cait said:
fish-head said:
The rules are, you have to fill a cup full of s***, without touching it.

What size cup?

Size is important, if you have a tendency to curl out a ball bag stroking monster you dont want to be shitting in yer mums best china tea thimble leaving half the brown trout flobbing over the edge and touching the saucer?

That said, if you're the type that blats colon shrapnel you dont really want it fermenting in a bucket sized mug, the extra volume means more trumpy gas to contend with.....?
Cait, that is such a purty mouth you have.
 
#8
Dale the snail said:
Cait said:
fish-head said:
The rules are, you have to fill a cup full of s***, without touching it.

What size cup?

Size is important, if you have a tendency to curl out a ball bag stroking monster you dont want to be shitting in yer mums best china tea thimble leaving half the brown trout flobbing over the edge and touching the saucer?

That said, if you're the type that blats colon shrapnel you dont really want it fermenting in a bucket sized mug, the extra volume means more trumpy gas to contend with.....?
Cait, that is such a purty mouth you have.
Cait, I'm going to be fighting with MDN for the next lick of your hoop!! Do you always talk like that?

I'd suggest a latte mug (tall and quite wide) for the competition, enough space for quite a biggy
 
#9
Rather than piercing the clingfilm and snorting from the piercing couldnt you purse your lips and suck the cling film intil it pops in your mouth, followed by a hit of pure colonic vapour!

Disgusting as this game is... Its arousing!
 
#10
The 58 pattern "black nose" is the ideal trumping receptacle, it has the width at the top, and the depth for a full "whippy" effect.

metal mugs are ok, but that tape around the rim attracts germs... and thats just disgusting.
 
#11
Dale the snail said:
Cait, that is such a purty mouth you have.
Yes but when you picture it you don't imagine it scabbed over with coldsores and the dribble of ten strangers hamptons leaking from it.

Fact: Cait is lush, you are a growler and a c u m dump, get over it!

Back on thread...

From experience (from a pal) If you curl one out into a Large Mcdonalds coke container, then place it under the automated hand heater, then retreat to your seat to watch the fall out, it will make for an entertaining lunch break.

Whatever you do though, remember to have a wee wee when you take a dump or you will have to revisit yourself making you bring back up your egg Mcmuffin (apparently)
 
#12
shortfuse said:
The 58 pattern "black nose" is the ideal trumping receptacle, it has the width at the top, and the depth for a full "whippy" effect.

metal mugs are ok, but that tape around the rim attracts germs... and thats just disgusting.
Don't forget that plastic mugs keep the taste, hmmm nutty :D








I fcuking lurve squaddies :twisted: Just started a new role and my new workmates are looking at me like I am crazed as I am chortling in the corner at this thread
 
#13
Everybody has at least one mate whose kitchen admin is absolutely fezzing- always a mountain of washing-up in the sink. For added japes and hilarity (perhaps with a slight hint of cholera and dysentary- he's probably a fact cnut who could stand to lose a few lbs anyway) why not simply add a mug chock-full of Richard III to their collection?
 
#14
Cait said:
Size is important, if you have a tendency to curl out a ball bag stroking monster you dont want to be shitting in yer mums best china tea thimble leaving half the brown trout flobbing over the edge and touching the saucer?
That's one thing those tall stainless steel mugs they sell at Starbucks could be good for. It will keep a firm, healthy log shaped and warm...and give you plenty of room to land it without breaking it.
 
#15
:lol: :lol: :lol: LMAO when I read this thread. Playing this game in my office could have dire consequences as you'd be hard pushed to distinguish between this kind of "crap-in-a-cup" and the crap in a cup they laughingly describe as coffee!! Mistakes would be made - people would die!!
 
#16
Just suggested this to the 2 Civvy clarks in my office and they are both in agreement that we shall have to play this game but we are going to use thermal mugs and leave them on the window sill to ferment. :D :D
 
#17
As a test of hand/eye co-ordination and reaction time, what about drawing lots for someone to hold the cup WHILST the donor crimps one from the standing alert position? Distance to target should be 2ft and should be rigidly applied. Skill at Arms blokes must close one eye when attempting the catch!

"This will be a grouping exercise at the target to your rear. Watch and shoot! Watch and shoot!"
 
#18
Offer to get the brews in and scoot off to the brew assembly area.

Lay a surface pipe into an Alladin mug, fill with hot water and coffee. Put the lid on it and offer it to your victim.

Much hillarity and mirth will follow. Shortly before a blinding right hook shatters your cheek bone.

Butt mud and nescafe do not mix.

Unless you give it a really good stir.
 

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