crap comparisons

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by scrofula, Nov 3, 2008.

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  1. I've definitely been watching too much National Geographic Channel recently, and the crap comparisons they come out with, with amazing frequency, in the name of dumbing down is beginning to grip me. Stuff like "the USS Virginia weighs blah,blah tons - that's over 360 killer whales" or " The Great Pyramid of Giza could contain 25 Empire State Buildings". Imagination please gents..... along the lines of "The Taipei Tower is 101 storeys high, that's the equivalent of 1.3 million politicians dicks stuck end to end".....
  2. "...that's equivalent to the weight of a coconut slung between two swallows on a length of creeper!"
  3. "....the Trans-Siberia Gas pipeline transports more than 4.6 million cubic metres of gas every day....that's more than every fart done in a curry house around the world in the same time"
  4. The width of the middle lane of the M1 motorway is exactly 32 times the length of my snap box.

    The volume of the Taj Mahal in India is exactly 100 times the volume of the Taj Mahal curry house which is at no. 100 India Road in Bradford.

    My penis is exactly the same size as a very large penis.

    My beer capacity is greater than yours, you facking wuss.

    Bored now. I want the Baron Castleshort thread back.
  5. Fixed :)
  6. Manhattan Island and all the buildings on it weighs less than all the fat arrses that have sat on goverment benches in the Houses of Parliament since 1979.
  7. Just don't touch my fucking beer you cunting wankstain.
  8. There are as many hairs on a typical Red Salmon's back as on Gary Glitter's eyebrows.
  9. "The length of 30 football pitches" - I don't know about you,but I would have no idea what 30 football pitches end to end would look like.
  10. Like one, only much, much bigger!
  11. BIG
  12. At least 30 times bigger,at least.
  13. The flight deck of HMS Ark Royal can be covered by 2,734,862 digestive biscuits. This fact is the product of the greatest Wah created yet.
  14. If all the cars on the UK's motorways were put end to end, some dick in a BMW would still try to overtake.

    Not very good at this ;)
  15. Nah, i won't nick yer beer. That'd just be dirty and underhanded.